Enough crap.

Duck in, duck out.

2011-04-23T02:29:00.004-04:00

YEARS later, I still read this thing. And maybe, just maybe, I'll start writing in it again. It'd be cool.

As a quickie, reading this thing years later has allowed me to see growth. You might not find anymore profanity-laced titles or posts about fucking BMWs.

But, hilariously, this thing was laced with ADHD-symptoms: complaints of my head spinning, whining about not being able to do work, poo-pooing over unproductivity, giggling about skipping class (or just leaving), etc. Ahh, history.

A year ago.

2008-07-18T21:34:00.001-04:00

A year ago. hmm! interesting things on the horizon now. ;)

2007-07-30T22:58:00.000-04:00

Faustian Bargain or "...what would you do for a Klondike bar...?"

Back blogging again, yes yes. I'm sitting at Ms. Calloway's house after having my flight get cancelled until tomorrow. I was supposed to be back in Houston on Sunday night, but happily I got caught out here. It's clarified some things.

2006-07-08T12:33:00.000-04:00

Universities jump on iTunes...word?

Here's to another university that's jumped on the iTunes bandwagon...Stanford University. I see this type of thing coming to my school soon. Stay iTuned.

2006-07-07T15:36:00.000-04:00

"I can't read this crap, so how am I supposed to accomplish anything else?"

I want to change the way technology documentation is produced and used. Honestly, I want to make it more effective. Here's to leading the way. ::Kanpai!!::

2006-05-23T10:04:00.000-04:00

Brainstorm take me away from the norm.

I couldn't sleep this morning after having a million thoughts in 5 seconds, so I got up around 645am. Lo and behold, my friends are seriously predictable (especially on their off days! lol), so I got a phone call around 730am from Rae. On that tip, I was reminded of 311, so I went and got a bunch of their stuff of iTunes to start the day.

Quite excellent. Amber is the color of your energy!

2006-05-17T16:23:00.000-04:00

Moshi. Moshi.

Yeah, so one of the best parts of being back at home is access to a vehicle. I stole the car today and went for a spin on the other side of town--out of the county, basically--and discovered this nice neighborhood in Harnett County on a golf course. They've got tennis courts, too! I'll probably be indulging in more tennis next semester thanks to finding a tennis partner, so I'll have to sharpen up this summer in Texas.

I sent off my acceptance of the HP offer today. w00t!

Since I've been out of school, I've actually been productive. I've gone through this stack of AJAX books that I have, so now I'm working through Agile Web Development with Rails. I'm building this stock ticker thingie that's not quite a stock ticker. lol. I know. Bad description, but I can already see it in my head, so I'm great!

w00t!

2006-05-15T00:23:00.000-04:00

Writing of epiphanic proportions...or that looks good on paper!

Yeah, I'm back in NC now. Yes, it's almost a thank God situation. I was enjoying this semester in DC socially, but academically--I'm shot. Computer science pissed me off more than I could enjoy it, so I found myself skipping class and programming and reading in my room. Needless to say, my grades showed it.

I can say I'm pretty much disappointed in almost every class this semester. Or maybe it's me...who knows. I've read some tasty books this semester though. Here's a smattering: The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra, The Venture Cafe by Teresa Esser, The Question of Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, Getting Real by 37Signals, Agile Web Development with Rails by Dave Thomas along with David Heinemeier Hansson, and a stack of other books. I'd say I was productive this semester intellectually still.

This summer I got hired at HP (told you I was productive this semester...I got a job!), so in a few weeks, if all still goes according to plan, I'll be heading out to Houston, TX. w00t!

On top of that, next semester I'll be working as the online editor at The Hilltop, so naturally, my writing bug has bitten me--HARD. I've churned out a lot of content lately (it'll be posted here in time), been reading my ass off (I'm getting glasses later this summer), and I've got stacks of papers (notepads, napkins, etc.) with writing ideas. And, it all sounds quite excellent. It looks good on paper. My Pentel is my friend.

I've also made the decision to attend gradschool once I graduate. I know I want to focus on the web with my work in gradschool, but we'll see what happens. lol.

2006-05-13T11:58:00.000-04:00

The endgame was not strong.

Yes, so the semester is actually over. Does anybody know how long I've been waiting for that moment? Actually, it ended on Thursday upon turning in my OOP project (incomplete, yes). With that, I really did do a cartwheel through the lower hallway of the engineering building. And...I had never done one before that point, folks. lol.

This semester was stressful, disturbing, and interesting to add insult to injury. But, on the whole, I read some great books, met a ton of people that I'm glad I met, and I'm looking forward to next year. 2006-2007 onward, ho!

Right now, though, I'm sitting in The Hilltop office waiting for a call from the editor to get my online publishing privileges fixed. I'm supposed to be leaving Washington today, but I just talked to my dad and he said they just left the house. So really...they won't arrive until 5pm or so. In light of that, yes, I have a few hours to sit around and do whatever.

But, oh yeah, I'm being hogged. More on this later. lol. Don't you folks just hate continuations? hahahahahaaha.

2006-05-08T20:49:00.000-04:00

Clicky...clicky...new media and such.

UC Berkeley has a ton of courses available to listen to on iTunes. That's pretty hott. Go here (iTunes will open up).

2006-04-30T19:33:00.000-04:00

Right-click of doom...continued.

Yeah, Business Law turned out quite nicely. Ohhhh, the joys of going to class for once. lol. Turns out the professor really does have a soft spot. He gave out the final. I enjoy take-home finals. So that means the folks that came in to class on Thursday are free of the in-person final on May 5th at 8am. All we have to do is drop it off and leave. As for the other folks...hm.

More later.

2006-04-27T01:27:00.000-04:00

The Right-click of doom.

Clicky-clicky. Clacketty-clicky. Yeah, it's really almost 1:30am and I'm sitting in the iLab seriously just wasting time. I'm supposed to be reading for this Business Law make-up midterm in the morning, but haha. This might be another instance of me taking an exam based off what I saw on TV--i.e., People's Court.

Whoop! Leaving out.

2006-04-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

Curtail your surfing and do your homework.

That's been my note to myself lately, but if anybody's been paying attention to my del.icio.us use lately, then umm...you already know that that's not going to happen. All I can say is that I'm seriously looking forward to this summer. I get to read and write! w00t!

2006-04-21T17:42:00.000-04:00

Produce.

Someone (I promise I'll find out who later) once said that the true mark of genius is having the knack for always producing something. So here goes nothing. Coming up soon? Essays and apps. Stay tuned!

2006-04-21T00:24:00.000-04:00

Take it to the streets!

It's finals time, folks! What is Tiffani doing? Reading everything except what's going to be on her exams. This week's menu? A fine serving of del.icio.us, a healthy tablespoon's-worth of Wealth of Nations, a book about user interface design, and of course, the obligatory 9rules dessert.

No, seriously. I'll do fine with my finals. It's just that I've been tinkering more and more with Ruby on Rails lately, and interesting things are in store. Haha.

Honestly, though, del.icio.us is becoming the death of me. Is there anybody else that sits in class and just goes through link after link after link all while adding a ton of links to their own del.icio.us collection? Project Management has really become my del.icio.us time during daylight, in-school hours. I'm sure the prof is tired of the glow on my face and the perplexed look as I find more and more stuff I know I won't have time to read. lol. I've got so much stuff to read and print out that it's ridiculous. This summer, wherever I end up (NJ, TX, NC, etc.) will be interesting indeed. lol.

Oh yeah, and I filed my Hilltop application today, so hopefully I'll end up as the Business and Technology Editor. I tossed them a nice set of stories that they should do for graduation, so we'll see what happens. Interview's on Saturday. Chyeah!

2006-04-08T03:03:00.000-04:00

Change!

So, I've found myself reading incredible amounts of material on matters relating to psychology. For some reason, I have been driven to get away from folk psychology and actually focus on the meaty matters. My biggest hang-up lately has been basically the idea of Computer Science that matters to laypeople. In my reading I've been focusing on human-computer interaction, social software, and software that is just flat out useful. My reading list grows everyday, so I'll one day post it. In the meantime, I'll just be around convincing people of the logic of throwing out cottage industries and latching on to real entrepreneurship with technology. Big things, folks! Big thoughts!

2006-04-05T21:37:00.000-04:00

Stop using forecasts to predict my thoughts...

In recent times, this blog has been the source of controversy. Truth be told, fuck your thoughts. More later. Most importantly, this semester needs to end.

2006-03-16T01:13:00.000-05:00

...today's message is...

Stop shitting on your customers, you greedy corporations! This goes out to all the Verizons, the Apples, the Bank of Americas, the university libraries. That is all.

2006-03-12T23:30:00.000-05:00

The ridiculousness is over...for now.

Yes, yes, folks. I am writing this while lounging on the floor of my room at my parents' house in North Carolina. I won't be back in Washington, DC until next Sunday, so I'm excited about the prospect of doing the things I really want to do without school interferring.

School has been a big pushover. I'm suffering from everything from foolish professors to a group of foolish schoolmates (whom I have subsequently abandoned), so this semester isn't exactly going 100% as planned. But, this is okay. Things on the entrepreneurial front are actually going better than planned. The law of supply and demand is kicking in, and to some degree, I believe I'll have trouble meeting the demand. Oy vey.

Better yet, I've been surfing the web heavily. The RSS reader, NetNewsWire, is monitoring around 230 feeds and even on top of that, I still do tons of surfing. I've made almost excessive use of Del.icio.us in order to keep all the stuff that I find around. I only wish I had jumped on the Del.icio.us bandwagon much earlier. The deluge of information kept there is all part of my plans for a magazine/newsletter to be produced perhaps starting this summer.

More later.

2006-02-26T03:46:00.000-05:00

Recovery.

No, no, no. I have not been sick, kidnapped, or set on fire. I'm sitting right here in my dorm listening to the plethora of podcasts that I've been snatched up. There literally won't be enough time to listen to all of these. Oy vey...I really need to learn to be selective lol.

So what's been up with me lately? In short, I've been courting foreign ambassadors, preparing to move this blog elsewhere, planning a magazine/newsletter about business, programming, failing tests in school, and treating cough drops like the candy that they are.

More later.

2006-02-02T04:05:00.000-05:00

Just you wait.

I can't wait until I can do exactly all the stuff I want to do and absolutely nothing else. Oh yeah, and I shouldn't have signed up for Business Law I. I can watch that crap unfold on CNN. Blah.

2006-01-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

Away, away...and the 100th post!

So, this weekend, I decided to switch up and do something totally different than what I would usually do on a weekend. I left town. Alex snatched me away up to Baltimore and we hung out with all of her folks--Malachi, Carl, Jessica, Marc, Ricky, and her parents. That was pretty fun. Yeah, I would go so far as to say it felt like I had gone on a vacation. So, big ups to my new friends in Baltimore. And yeah, I know school just started, but I was already starting to get annoyed with certain goings-on here on campus.

Lately, I've been getting back in the groove of campus organizations, and everybody knows that that means meetings. At IBM, I learned to not like meetings. And it's not because meetings there were often and horrible. In fact, it was the polar opposite. For me, as a lowly intern programmer, I attended more workshops than meetings and the meetings I did go to really seemed to have a purpose. Some of the meetings I've been to here on campus have been downright mind-numbing because often I end up walking out scratching my head about why the hell I had to roll out of bed from a nap or something for a meeting. lol.

Obviously, I live the wired life and I'd much rather do things by email and correspond only when absolutely necessary in person.

Speaking of the wired life, I've embarked on a bunch of newness to start the year off absolutely right. I'm going to be pushing schoolwork further and further out of the picture as the semester goes on. Big plans, indeed. In fact, one of them was solidified in a phone call on the harbor in Baltimore. Yes, I'm stepping up.

Now, I know I have 21 credits distributed over 7 classes, but this semester is going to go my way no matter what anybody says. So, if you have something to say about doing what you want, but still having a maximum (without additional cash being needed by the University) course load, you can go ahead. I ignore naysayers nowadays.

Watch me.

2006-01-17T17:40:00.000-05:00

...Just Ajaxin' it...

Ah, yes. The power of the extraordinary...the power of...web tricks! Yeah, so I've taken a nose-dive deep, deep into some new technologies/frameworks/gizmos/etc. that are taking the web by storm.

Either way, check that ish out. More later. Umm...yeah.

2006-01-14T12:36:00.000-05:00

Policy decisions and the first week of school.

So, after jumping off a cliff and deciding to return to school for Spring 2006, the first full week of school is over. And, boy, was it interesting. First off, I partially got to get over why I was so sad to leave school for a semester anyway...not seeing any of my friends. I've been hanging out a lot with Edwin, Diana, Ebony, and Kim. They're not the only people I missed, but they're some folks I always wondered about...like..."I wonder what (insert name here) is up to?" So, it's good to see that most folks are doing great. However, there is still a list of folks I haven't seen yet.

Oh yeah, I camped out in the financial aid office on Wednesday in order to get them to disburse my loans. Who would have known that doing things on a semester basis would have caused so much crap in terms of scaring the hell out of somebody that's never had to fully deal with the financial aid office? I've had them hang up in my face once, but that was nothing. Since I came to school on a full scholarship, my first year I had somebody that I could call and offload my gripes and miseries upon. Truthfully, I never made full use of this person, but she was there.

After some student financial services jiggery-pokery, I have settled on having 21 credits (the institutional max without any extra charges) distributed over 7 classes. Not only is this going to be optimal, it's going to be fun! I have 21 credits of stuff I actually care about:

BLAW 305 Business Law 1

SYCS 350 Structures of Programming Languages

SYCS 440 Object Oriented Programming

EECE 211 Digital Systems Design

AFST 101 Intro to Contemporary Africa

INFO 396 Project Management

INFO 398 Information Systems Consulting

See, fundamentally all of this stuff will end up being fun for me. I suspect it will be a 4.0 semester. That will be great since it will probably help me to get another Trustee Scholarship which will hack away at half of my tuition for next school year. Also, I'll be learning much more. Most of these classes are things that I've never ever touched upon (except obviously the OOP class), so being in this mode of learning all new material is going to be absolutely great. I can truly manage my personal algorithms a lot better, so none of these should be a problem.

Personal algorithms?

Yeah. Personal algorithms. lol. This is basically how you accomplish things. Over the last 7 months, I've really come to terms with not trying to do everything like other people do it. Everybody has a different way of doing things, so in short, you've got to do you. lol. Now, I never figured I'd say that, but it's become excruciatingly obvious that this is what must happen.

You can't have the rest of the world leading you around by the nose, dictating what you can and can't do, etc. This sort of jiggery-pokery got me in trouble a couple of years ago and as I've gotten smarter (this occurs everyday), it's become exceptionally obvious that you've got to go against all of the randomness that life throws at you. Do what you need to do.

Nowadays, my personal algorithms dictate that I do not become overly influenced by what other people say or think or believe. And trust me, these three are distinct. Just because you say something, doesn't mean you believe in it. And just because you believe in something, that doesn't mean you'll say it (or express it in some other way). More or less, I've sunken into a deep state of mental programming (elsewhere they call it neurolinguistic programming) where I really can't be stopped or swayed by anything unless I allow this. And if I don't, then that's all there is. I think this sort of thing will be especially helpful this semester.

So...?

I've got big plans for everything that I've had my hand in in the past, but have only had a peripheral involvement with. Namely, I'll be working harder to contribute back to whatever spheres of influence I can work my way into. Most importantly, I've been cooking up a series of classes on knowledge I've gathered up over the years, along with some gems I picked up during my time out of school. Topic specifics aren't exactly clear right now, but by mid-February, one session of a class with one of my groups will have already taken place. Stay tuned for details!

2005-12-23T11:34:00.000-05:00

Beautiful Ones.

Mary J. Blige wrote that song a long time ago, but somehow, it makes me want to drive through NYC on a rainy night just having fun with friends. Maybe it's the thought of returning to school that's fueling all this nostalgia. Who knows.

Either way, my time at IBM is up. It was an interesting journey, more or less, simply because it helped to expose a stack of my weaknesses as a programmer. I have no worries in this regard anyway. One thing I've become particularly adept at is fixing mistakes I've made as soon as I've made them. It's something along the lines of "you can trick me once, but you won't trick me twice." I like to think of it as being acutely self-aware, and thus, I'm able to fix things as soon as I know there's something wrong.

In a lot of cases, I discover these problems after I've had to do something, and for instance, didn't know how. Sometimes, software is fast-paced, so you can't fix the problem right then and there (improvise), but you go back and arm yourself with the solution for the future. Software components are reusable and that includes the solutions to all the non-software problems you had.

I discovered, for instance, that I absolutely sucked with C. Yes, this was like a smack in the face to my productivity, but it's something I've been working to rectify. I got invited back to IBM for next summer, so it didn't have too much of an effect. But, it will never be an issue again. I guarantee this.

Know thyself and nothing can blind-side you. Really.

2005-12-15T05:41:00.000-05:00

Obligatory Thought Maintenance.

I started the day off yesterday by getting all dressed up and going to work for about two hours in my mom's store since she was short on staff. That was pretty fun until I realized I probably had no business wearing the shoes I did...even if I did spend a pretty penny on them. Either way I was happy to have helped.

After that I came back to the house (not immediately), changed clothes, and then eventually laid down for a nap. After the nap, I started working on more stuff to finish up my internship, along with checking out my failed bid for a Citibank student loan.

Bastards. :D

2005-12-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

Renewal and Leadership Schtuff...

So, I started reading Gerald Weinberg's Becoming a Technical Leader last night. Well, ok, I skipped through the leadership theory mamby-pamby with full intention of returning to it later--after tater tots and a night cleaning out the mall to be more precise. In section 7, Tools for Developing Self Awareness, Weinberg starts off with the challenge that spawned what you are reading right now: "Starting now, and continuing for three months, spend five minutes each day writing in a personal journal."

Blahhh...! That's not so bad; I keep a blog. But, wait, I sure as crap don't write in it everyday, so I can pretty much guarantee that this will be an intriguing endeavor...and maybe more importantly, an exercise in discipline. Furthermore, I just traipsed into the realm of going along with Weinberg's secondary request: "Pause now, get a piece of paper, and write down your initial reaction. This reaction is an important part of the test. Not only that, but what you wrote on that paper is your first journal entry." That doesn't necessarily apply here, but...SCORE!

I'm elated. Actually, okay, I cheated. I knew this portion was coming, so I fast-forwarded to it. Take me to People's Court for cryin' out loud!

2005-12-09T23:21:00.000-05:00

More Ill Behavior

So, I've been drafting up ideas for the new HU portal I want to put in play when I get back to school, as well as implementation specifics for the HUES website. All I can say here is that I'm excited. Very excited. Technology should move in leaps and bounds, and if somebody can make that happen, I'd be quite pleased. Better yet, I'm going to make it happen. Everything is moving too slow.

2005-12-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

Schizophrenic Megalomaster with the Ill Behavior.

Laaa-la-looo...da da daaaa. Do I even have anything really to post about besides my carpal tunnel syndrome? lol. Yeah, I don't have an official diagnosis, but when you're rolling around in your bed because your right hand (your mouse hand) feels like it's about to fall off at the wrist...you pretty much know what's going on. I've spent so much time in front of the computer in the last few weeks that it's wonder my hand didn't fall off earlier. Not that it has now. lol. But yes, I went to Walmart (ugh) tonight and bought two wrist braces.

Either way, I've got a long list of things to get to before I return to Howard. Pick me ups would be welcome.

Lo-mein-tenance. A joy to be with you. Dahahhhha.

2005-11-27T14:46:00.000-05:00

Hold on...let me get this straight.

First of all, I am disappointed over so much even though I attempt to very strong most of the time. After listening to hours of mind-blowing fake ass rap and electronica, I've had a mental breakdown again. Well, ok. Not completely.

Honestly, I find myself being woefully disappointed with the way things happen...a lot. God doesn't put you through something just for his own comedy hour, even though it may seem like that sometimes. I think in my case, I get disappointed over how I (and other people) do things because I know I/they could be doing so much better. Mentally, I'm there, but at this point, my physical does not allow me to do 99% of the things that I want to do.

But, then again...we argue for the idea that your mental controls your physical. Does it really? Is the human body that simple? Mind over matter? Does the mind matter? Alright, I can certainly answer my own question. We haven't driven that far into insanity just yet.

While I'm jumping from topic to topic, I don't like how it takes me forever to understand things. I'm not talking about schoolwork. That doesn't mean anything after a while. I'm talking about people relations. I end up understanding people and being terribly sorry about their situations. I end up understanding people and wishing I was just like them. I end up understanding people and then spending all this time feeling inadequate. I used to have really severe problems with this, but now, it's not nearly as bad.

This post is the result of five years of practically ignoring somebody that really did love me. Unfortunately, I was so horribly afraid of that, that I didn't know what to do. You couldn't Google that and find a solution. So, I ran. And I'm so sorry that I ran.

You see, the problem with my life is that I end up feeling guilty for 99.95% of the things I do. The successes I have. The failures. The joys. The laughter. The fights. The mistakes. The anger. The anticipation. The moves. The thoughts. The impact I make.

I suffer because I feel I can never do enough. I can never have my hand in too much. I can never be in over there. I can never understand what that's about. I believe, to an extent, being incredibly intelligent is a ticket down the path of self-destruction. For so very long, I have walked along that path with only myself. And with every step, I had the thought to look back and possibly turn around, but I didn't...somehow couldn't.

Interestingly, I did, however. You can't go through life with all your failures and mistakes and fears on your back. There's a phrase I picked up with all this programming reading I've been reading. "FUD." Nope, not Elmer Fudd. FUD. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt. You can't walk around with that shit eating away at you. You can't walk around with the hesitation and fear and non-sensical thought patterns that you have when FUD is all in your face. FUD is bad. FUD keeps you from doing so much.

Inevitably, if you want to get out of something, you do. You break yourself out of the FUD. You make strides. You say shit. You shed this image of failure. You shed this image of incapability.

Like The Roots once said, "You ain't sayin' nothin' new." I know this. But, actually...for me, it is something new. The devil watches over certain people like you wouldn't believe. That motherfucker is always in my face. Fortunately, I got me, myself, and God to get rid of him. So, then, I remain...safely.

Nothin' new, I ain't sayin' nothin' new. lol. ~~FUD~~.

2005-11-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Getting ahead of myself...again.

So, yes. After a weekend of toiling and arguing with myself about my frayed mental state, I have found peace on a Monday morning after barely completing something for work.

2005-11-06T00:55:00.000-05:00

Steam....machine.... -Daft Punk.

On some completely random basis, I decided to listen to the rest of the "Human After All" album that I bought. lol. Originally, I only listened to two songs on the album and then ignored the rest of them. What the heck...yeah. Bad idea. Can't stop playing the whole album now. Steeeeeeam machinnnnne.

2005-10-27T23:05:00.000-04:00

Bravebird, redux.

Words...they have the power to transport you back to the impossible days. Amel Larrieux said that in her album title track, "Bravebird." I never really bothered to truly listen to the words to this song, but it's actually pretty nice.

I think a lot of my failures in the past have been because of a lack of confidence, faith, belief, and resolve to do bigger and better things. Honestly, a lot of the time, it was really wasn't about doing BIG things, per se. Sometimes it was just the conception of ideas...and then dropping them that I dealt with and had to stop. It sucks to be ambitious with no follow-through. It's a lot of wasted brain CPU cycles. I had a lot of that going on. Get involved and then disappear. Disappear. Reappear. Mood swings with the change of the day to night. This sort of stuff was common.

More to come...

Whistle.

2005-10-24T03:49:00.000-04:00

Overcome fake good? ...Be not overcome by insincere good.

Being nocturnal is a disappointment. It is lonely and you can't eat well. You can't shop, unless it's online. Plus, it's disturbingly quiet. Fortunately, it affords you the ability to think. To continual your mental programming.

Rain. ...When will the music stop?

2005-10-16T22:40:00.000-04:00

Figure it out.

So, the latest challenge is waiting for my damned iBook AC adapter to get here. After that, it's finishing work on the Howard University Entrepreneurial Society website. I've been doing a lot of independent study lately on building web apps and this one is shaping up to be more work than I thought. But, I'm going to continue on my old route because I'm good like that.

I decided not to commit to a list of features right away--or at least, not the specific details of each feature. I know I wanted to have a message board, but I'm not exactly sure of what it would look like or how it would behave. I didn't want to design it right off from the get-go. This was done so that it wouldn't end up being some rigid "I have to go by what I wrote on this paper" kind of contraption. Also, if I don't put anything down on paper, that keeps people from expecting things and then being disappointed when they don't show up exactly like what may have been written somewhere.

I was recently asked if I knew how to build Facebook. lol. I laughed quite hard at the question because I knew exactly how it was put together the first time I actually spent some serious time using it, i.e. somewhere during midterms first semester of last year. It's a nice combination of PHP and a database. As far as I can see, implementation-wise, that's it. Creatively, it's great. Timewise...I wish I could get away from it. Oy vey.

Better yet, I finally got my new ID card on Friday and then my dad gave me my papers about my new doctor today. So, hopefully tomorrow I can make an appointment to see the doctor no later than Tuesday about my skin condition. Eczema is positively kicking my ass. I'm trying to stay calm about it, but it's hard considering I've had my medicine all this time. lol. I swear, tomorrow, he is going to write me a prescription for a 10 lb. load of medicine. Walking around itching and scratching your face and arms like a crackhead is something that I cannot continue to do. ..even though it's probably quite hilarious to watch. lol.

Oh yeah, to everybody out there whose phone call I haven't made or returned, I apologize. Issues. Px.

2005-10-16T03:02:00.000-04:00

The runaround and the policy analyst.

Yeah, my mom is still delaying her response to my question..."So, can I go to homecoming up in DC?" Her favorite response so far--"I don't know yet." Oy vey! What isn't there to know! I'm mad. Anyway.

So, again tonight I went iTunes crazy and downloaded like 20 new tracks. Basically, I don't want to deal with that Ares riffraff or my other method of giving tunes. In light of that fact, laziness really is costly. lol. Indeed.

Today I got dressed and went out for the first time in a few days. My skin has broken out rather badly, so I've been hiding in the house. lol. But, suddenly, I had a deep desire to get back into speech and debate, so I figured when I go back to school I'll go back to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Forensics Society. The couple of days I was on the team during my freshman year, I had lots of fun, but looking back, I wasn't cut out to do very well on it. I had severe confidence issues. In my case, it sucked to be terribly intelligent...but be terribly afraid to convey that.

Anyway, the point was that at the book store, I picked up some books about economics and an 85 cent copy of Donald Trump's 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. It's a good read so far. I'm already halfway through it. Looks like I'll finish it in the morning.

I mean, it would have been a serious handicap on the team. I was a policy expert at the age of 18, but dammit, I was a fucking wimp. Not anymore. I cannot wait to get back to school to make some changes...!

::Whistles::

2005-10-14T04:33:00.000-04:00

Infamous!

Indeed. Okay, I haven't left the house in 2 days. I am on a self-imposed house arrest sort of spiel until I can get some things sorted out. Most of it will fall into place...but other stuff...shall be sheisty. Let's just say that I'll need to be a master debater and master negotiator all in one.

Stay tuned to see how it all works out...and, oh yeah, find out what the hell I'm talking about. Px.

2005-10-12T00:06:00.000-04:00

Bravebird.

So, I've been away a very long time, no? Of course. Mostly, I've been into building myself up to become a walking atom bomb. Mental reprogramming has been a daily activity. I read somewhere between three and four books every few days...and that's unprecedented considering before I thought I had ADD of the worst kind. lol. Being able to concentrate like that is a direct result of the power of self-bossyness. Yes. The art of telling yourself what to do. People (psychologists, self-helpers, etc.) have been pushing that brand of self-help for years...and lo and behold, I've gotten into it.

Today, on my 1.25 hour drive to work, I practiced some severely deep mental programming. At certain points along I-40 going into Raleigh, it got so deep that I totally lost track of what I was doing, but not to the point of being unaware of what I was doing. Folks, I was driving. lol. Can't get that deep into the programming. But, alas, after getting my new work assignments, I went back to my desk for some programming. Mental programming.

The drive to do incredibly big things is insatiable nowadays and the only thing holding me back is me. So when your situation is that, you need to teach yourself to sit down and shut the fcuk up. Really. For a while, it seemed like everything I did was smattered in negativity. Not doing crap because "Oh, no! That's not going to work! You don't know how to do that!" They say very smart people have the most persuasive of demons. Well, in my case, for a while that was true. I'd be standing there having a conversation with somebody, but at the same time I was arguing with myself about what to say next. One voice would be saying "Say you will let her copy your homework! You'll make a friend...you know you fucking need one!" and the other one would being saying "Ohhhhh nnoooo...she can't copy your homework! That's uncivilized! You don't want to be uncivilized, do you?! What's happening here! No..! Take that paper back from her! Dammit!"

Yeah, so it was all an argument. This happened in damn near everything I did. Wrestling with yourself, especially for as long as I have, is one of the most debilitating and unproductive things you can possibly do. The only truly compelling thing I can think of where this would be valuable is when you need to make a decision (one that is beyond superficial) and you need to weigh your options. Otherwise, don't stand there and spazz out beyond a clean facade. Really, folks.

Plus, I've taken up to running. Yeah, I'm healthy all around now, folks. I mean, hahaha, I'm still a lazy sow, so I don't run very far, but I run, nonetheless. Life as a programmer, I realized, keeps your ass in a chair. A lot...almost too much actually. So, if you don't get up and walk around and exercise, you'll become a slobby mess. Your chair's padding won't be worth a damn after awhile because all you do is sit in it, and your knees will just suck. When you finally get up, you'll walk funny. lol. I already walk funny, but during the times where I was plastered to my screen at work, when I got up, I'd walk funny. My legs went numb one day. Yeah. And what's worse? The fcuking automatic lights in the building kicked in and turned everything off. Damn.

Work-life balance? What the fcuk was that?!

2005-10-11T12:07:00.000-04:00

Schwing!

The ideal setup would be for me to do everything on this list of goals before I turn 25. Now, the contents of this list are a closely guarded secret that I'll only let out of the bag after I get back on campus. One of them has to do with my desired income at the age of 25. Another? My desire to do non-profit work that affects technology public policy in the United States. Either way, the list is comprehensive and it makes me exceptionally dangerous.

Yep.

Things are going fabulously at work. I see my return to school as being triumphant. More later.

2005-10-02T02:39:00.000-04:00

I hope to God that this isn't real.

Weather? What weather?

2005-09-23T13:01:00.000-04:00

A new cool city...Wondering if you think it's a cool world... -Georgia Anne Muldrow.

So, a lot has happened in recent history. Some of it, I can't talk about just yet.

2005-08-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

"...Smile in my face, behind my back you talk trash...it's on you..."

It's On You, Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth, The Main Ingredient (1994).

Yeah, finally got a copy of that album. Pete Rock is just fire. On another note, I fixed more of my own buggy software today at work and finally figured out how to implement an encryption algorithm I was thrown. It's going to be great once I finish!

I probably will go missing again...!

2005-08-05T00:19:00.000-04:00

Theories of humour.

Yes, this was a title stolen from an article in The Economist. So be it.

In any case, today was pretty funny because I spent time chasing bugs it seems I, to some degree, really didn't have. But, either way, I'm learning the ins-and-outs of C better along with Codewarrior. Codewarrior for Palm OS has some pretty nifty features, but I'm still interested in putting together some apps on my Mac with OS X, Xcode, and PRC-Tools. (Links later.)

I'm not going into the office today. Nobody ever comes on Fridays, so I feel awkward being one of the only people there. Plus, it's not a good idea to come and be alone when gas is so incredibly high. It's just not a good feeling. But, honestly, if I drove slower, gas really wouldn't be a problem for me. lol. But, I have to be going at least 80+ mph to feel like I'm really getting anywhere. Psychology of speed. lol.

Either way, I woke up the other morning and somehow the rear right tire on the car was flat. I still think that's highly suspicious because we drove around all day in that car and everything was fine. No blow-outs. Nothing. Then, my mom was on her way out, and she comes back in the house to tell me that the tire is flat and that I might as well settle on working from home for the day.

That was disturbing to me, but I didn't argue. I went and finished getting dressed like I was going to the office and sat at my desk with the TV, AIM, and any music off, and actually got something done. Programming with Palm OS actually isn't so hard.

I'm going to go back to some of the things I used to discuss on here. Mostly, it's a confidence issue still. I do my best to stay humble these days, but humility can be incredibly dangerous. It helps to undermine your mental authority. If you know something, you know it. Don't relent unless superior evidence is being presented.

It's a basic premise of debate, and in my opinion, being knowledgeable in general. If you know something, you know something. Now, of course, this doesn't entail it necessarily being correct, but you have to have confidence in your knowledge. If you don't, there's no credibility in anything you do because you're never sure of it. You're just walking along blindly, without faith, without integrity if you want to go that far.

On a lighter note, I talked to some friends this week that I haven't talked to in a very long time. Slowly working my way out of my shell. But, honestly, I still have to get back to one person. Sometimes, it really is wrong to dump people. You have to be supportive of your friends. They're not perfect. No matter how perfect you think you are. If you think you're so perfect, stick around and be their voice of reason.

As a friend once said, "pz."

2005-07-29T11:34:00.000-04:00

Nothing more.

So yeah. I'm at home for today after a long week of coding and refactoring and all those other squishy terms you hear about. My number 1 desire now? To go to NYC. Listening to music again and I've gotten to that state. NC is too slow.

Check Nothing More - Pete Rock & Deda. That's what I've been bopping to. Nothing more, nothing less.

2005-07-07T22:49:00.000-04:00

"...being on the other side of the table makes the veins in your hands pop out."

So, I finished my first little task today at IBM. It was something excruciatingly easy, but it took me two frickin' weeks to get it done. Slowwww. I had to understand the APIs and then figure out how everything was put together. I'd say my contribution was no more than 25 lines of code. Oy. Bigger things in the future, perhaps.

In any event, now that I'm finished with my work, I feel like I should go out and try to be more social. Ha. I've been stuck at my desk all this time shooting myself in the head with something that I thought was hard to grasp. On the brightside, I read an entire book! lol.

My days at IBM so far have mostly consisted of sitting at my desk reading books galore, surfing the internet, modifying Palm apps, and attempting to keep myself from looking suspicious. lol. Suspicious? Let's just keep that one a secret. ;)

In other news, nothing interesting has happened. I spoke to some friends from school and figured out how dry I have become. More news later.

::Feel like driving away for a little while::

2005-06-22T23:28:00.000-04:00

Discovery.

So, I have been at IBM a full week and things have been interesting and hairy all in one. First off, the learning curve has been steep. I like to refer to it as an inverted bell curve. Let me explain. Last week, I didn't know C very well. I was familiar with C++ through work done in school, but my language of choice, unfortunately, was Java.

I see that Java is a great language for quick prototyping and for all out lazy programmers (me...), but I strongly believe it handicaps you. You don't know how the underlying system works. You don't know about how memory responds. You end up not caring about types. You lose the sense of real programming. Your skills sag. But, haha, it sure looks nice on a resume! Get real.

I won't deal with Java again unless I'm absolutely forced through a class or something. I see that C (lol) is much more powerful, allows you to be more thorough, and it gets the job done. Plus, you come out feeling like a much more competent programmer. Java is good to have, but C is better. Go back to the roots.

In other news, working at IBM is great. More later. Have to go back to reading. Pz as Kiran says.

2005-05-30T20:39:00.000-04:00

Tired of this.

I recently spoke to somebody who said corporate America is his plan B. That's the best way I've ever heard it. I get tired of going to information sessions and such on campus and listening to corporate bullshit about their "culture" and how they want to "hire the very best." It's all bullshit.

Am I angry? Not really. Just horribly disgusted. More about this later. Oh yeah, and fuck Wal-Mart. Suddenly, the title of my blog, "Enough Crap", just became particularly relevant.

2005-05-27T03:32:00.000-04:00

I really should be asleep.

I'll say it all in the morning. Errr...later this morning. Eh.

2005-05-23T18:30:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I knew there was something suspicious going on.

I remember my trip to the Apple Store after my iBook had been zapped and how the first thing the feeble tech at the "Genius Bar" did was ask me if I had repaired my permissions. Nonsense. It would be a frail solution to a deeply-rooted problem at best. This article assured me that I knew that not all technicians know what they're talking about. Here.

2005-05-22T16:55:00.000-04:00

People, plain and simple, should read more.

It's really interesting to find out that people my age don't read as much as they should. I think people should strive to know a whole bunch about things like financial matters, technology, their major (knowledge garnered outside of class), etc. I won't reference specifically what I'm talking about, but I was rather disappointed and dismayed around the same time. But, of course, it's not the first time I've been in a situation where people ask rather elementary questions. They say there's no such thing as a dumb question (and I somewhat agree), but there is such thing as an ignorant question because you don't read and expand your mind beyond what somebody has spoonfed you. Ow..

Right now, I'm looking for an apartment and a car. Then, I believe things will be set. IBM!

2005-05-13T00:43:00.000-04:00

Tell whatcha know.

Time has gone by and things have gone sour to some degree. Music cheers you up, however. Georgia Anne Muldrow. My gosh. First CD I've listened to where I have liked every song on it. I'll definitely be buying it when I get home. Check her out here.

2005-04-30T17:32:00.000-04:00

7th Street.

So, yeah. It was the last straw. The camel's back and has been irreparably broken and it'll never be able to walk again. We didn't bother to shoot it though. ;)

In any case, I'm making this entry from a Kinko's down the street from Howard simply because there is nowhere I can go on campus and actually get work done. I would have made use of the wiFi in the main computer lab, if it worked. That's really a point of contention for me. The last time I checked, Paul was complaining about something regarding the antenna on the access point being messed up. Well, fix it.

Also, there is no wiFi in the Undergraduate Library, or Founder's as far as I know. This is a deficiency the University needs to go ahead and fix. Spending about $300 on a good group of routers isn't going to kill anyone. Take it out of that technology fee we pay.

Furthermore, I can't go in Health Sciences Library anymore simply because it'll quickly morph into social hour just like being at UGL. I wave at at least 10 people before I sit down to study and spark up a conversation with at least one of them before I ever start studying. It becomes social hour. You can't possibly study under conditions like that. So, I avoid the place like the plague.

I could stay in my room, but of course, I have those damn speakers and a serious mp3 collection. I blast, my neighbor blasts, folks run up and down the hallway having loads of fun. The dormitory is no place to study.

So, here I am at a Kinko's.

2005-04-21T10:27:00.000-04:00

The value of the company you keep.

So, last night I finally met a friend that discovered me via thefacebook. He owns a local IT consulting firm called NetVisor and wow, he's been one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Another friend of mine happened to be leaving the HUES (Howard University Entrepreneurship Society) meeting and said he was going down to his shop. Now, considering the rundown state I was in, I seriously considered not going. But, how can you pass up a chance to meet somebody you've talked to online for like 2 or 3 months?! You can't.

So I went.

Wow. He's even cooler in person. Ron, Derrick (sp?), and Chinelo (my facebook buddy) were all together in the same room and listening to them talk was soooo...awe-inspiring. There was so much business acumen in that room last night that I felt squished under the weight of it. I sat there and just listened mostly. It was absolutely great. To hear Ron talk about business is like listening to a business great who's been in business forever. I told him something like this last night and he thought I was attempting to just flatter him. No. I was dead serious. No flattery intended. I know that doesn't work with him. Also, Derrick is a new acquaintance as Chinelo's business partner and he was very interesting too. He seemed to be a walking lesson in persistence. That's a key thing I've been trying to develop.

I don't know if it was because I was hella sleepy, or just in need of a spunk-inspiring activity, but I left their offices full of energy--even though I crashed as soon as I got back to my dorm. That's why this post is at 1030am. I finally voluntarily woke up before 10am for once.

But, the company you keep is important, Ron says. I fully believe it. I do admit that I know some very interesting people at Howard.

Also, while I'm at it, full congrats to Carrie for becoming the new president of the Howard University Entrepreneurship Society. I trust she'll carry on the torch that Augustus totally transformed into a flame on its own. HUES is a very dynamic organization and I seriously wish I was going to be on campus for the fall to truly immerse myself in it. I would have run for Chief Technology Officer of HUES if I was going to be here for fall. It's seriously my most favorite organization on campus. It's basically the only thing I feel bad missing meetings for.

I suffer to think that I will not be productive today.

2005-04-21T10:23:00.000-04:00

Mea culpa?

One more day. Find it in your heart to stay. Yeah, this Glenn Lewis song that came out a full year or two ago is being played out in my room like it was released yesterday. Something about it just really makes me want to go out and do something...BIG.

Exculpability is an important concept when dealing with the dealings of others. As a teaching assistant, I have a certain level of responsibility for the success of students. Or at least I believe I do. Others may agree to disagree. Either way, one student consistently tells me I "let him down." The very thought of someone saying that about that class is preposterous to me. I've done really everything in my power to help those people pass and make the grades that they need to make. Up to a certain point, it's out of my hands. Not only does the class persist in failing to ask for my help, they persist in not doing the work, and not acknowledging that they need help. At one point, I started a witchhunt campaign for those "unlearned in Fortran who were enrolled in Fortran." I found a few people who seemed to be relieved that I came searching for them.

Others saw it as a crutch. This has been on my mind lately in seeing how various people in the class talk to me and how much of the class is doing poorly, although on the last test grades were much better. Finals time is coming up soon and I know I could very well be swamped with last minute help requests. I'll be prepared to answer them. But, at what price? I know I get paid for this, but it was supposed to be a labor of love--as in...I was just doing it because I wanted to help people learn to program.

Back to basics.

So, I've gotten back up with my two of my best buddies of all time, Kim and Ebony. Looks as if things are going pretty nicely for them; they'll be graduating next year!

2005-04-11T04:28:00.000-04:00

The meat of the matter.

So, another night passes by where I cannot sleep. Why? Because I've gotten my hands on too much stuff that I'd like to stay up and read. I spend increasingly large amounts of time everyday reading, and it really seems as I cannot get enough of it. I have a stack of things that I bought from Barnes and Noble on Saturday during my trek around DC, the Barron's I picked up today from CVS, and a bunch of eBooks that I'm going to read through eventually. I'm really interested in the whole "knowledge advantage" thing. It's not like that's a new idea, but it's new in terms of I never had the patience to read as widely and as much as I do now.

I don't care very much for things assigned in class, but anything else is fair game. If you have a recommendation, shoot it to me.

2005-04-10T17:19:00.000-04:00

Long time, no blog.

You know, there comes a point in a geek's life where they have to get out more. I did last night. Brandon, Toni, and Bill held a party at their apartment where all these people showed up from both Howard and UDC and basically trashed the place. It was a great party, though. It's interesting to note how you find out somethings about your friends that you never knew. LOL. Wow.

But, I've been recently out redefining my strategies for life and success. What I've found is quite interesting, and I'll be sure to post all my findings here later. The biggest thing, however, is my transition in thought. I totally shun negativity now. For some reason, I'm hellbent on possibilities. So much so, that I'm almost getting over my head. But, that's not exactly true, either.

It's been an intriguing look into my mind and all of the things it's capable of now that a lot of the cobwebs and garbage have been moved out. Specifically, I've come back over and over again to the ideas of developing self-confidence and realizing that yeah, anything your mind can come up with can be done. This simple idea that is not new (it's new in my life, however) is the start of a few very big things that I will be doing over the next year during my time on my sabattical from school.

Right now, I'm really into great ideas and making interesting things happen. Everything on my plate, for the next two years and beyond, will be very, very interesting. I really want to see where it will all end up. Persistence. The key to getting every and any thing done.

2005-03-17T19:36:00.000-05:00

"...and the rest of them are commode-scum!!" -Robert Blake.

Now, what could possible drive somebody to say something like that? I think he was talking about reporters. lol.

In any event, I've been spending increasingly more and more time rigging up various services and "things" on the iBook, making use of the UNIX core. The other day, I set up the Tomcat servlet and JSP container. Mac OS X comes packaged with Apache that works right out of the box. I was so amazed by that. lol.

I've also been toying more and more with entrepreneurship. It's a bug that's been itching at me. We'll see what happens with it, though. I'll keep reading, however. Recently, I came across this site: SmallbizGeeks and it looks to be a very promising online community to be a part of. Interestingly, it's not a blog, so it's a full-featured online community. A lot of people thought message boards were a dying breed, but ha, no no no. lol. Go visit.

2005-03-16T00:47:00.000-05:00

And now for a few reminders from the back section...

Sometimes, you really need to be uplifted, and other times, uplift people. A lot of the time we all need a little bit of encouragement. Where you find it doesn't matter. On another blog I kept during high school, I posted these:

1. How you think is everything: Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.

2. Decide upon your true dreams and goals: Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.

3. Take action: Goals are nothing without action. Don't be afraid to get started. Just do it.

4. Never stop learning: Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire skills.

5. Be persistent and work hard: Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.

6. Learn to analyze details: Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.

7. Focus your time and money: Don't let other people or things distract you.

8. Don't be afraid to innovate; be different: Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.

9. Deal and communicate with people effectively: No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others.

10. Be honest and dependable; take responsibility: Otherwise, Nos. 1-9 won't matter.

No, this isn't just some drivel I got out of a newspaper to sound all philosophical. I used to go by this. Occasionally, I'll get into a slump where I need to be slapped up and reminded of what I used to believe in. I took this from the financial newspaper Investor's Business Daily, by way of an October 7, 2003 post on a blog that I've been keeping since high school. (I started keeping a new one since space on the server I originally used totally ran out. Blah! That sucks so badly! lol.)

Besides the momentary flash of motivation for certain friends, I've just been sitting on my ass during spring break reading (things beside mathematical textbooks) and enjoying fresh air (i.e. anything that isn't DC pollution and emotional horror--you know, the smell of urine, bums, farting city buses, the sound of campus shuttles that pull off as soon as you get a good rhythm in your running speed as you burst out the architecture building dropping papers and screaming for your life...etc.) and the slower non-metropolitan area life. People don't drive as violently here, so I haven't had to flick any other drivers off.

I spent a lot of time today reading about money and investing, so that with this internship, I can invest the money instead of wasting it on clothes. lol. Hmm. Or maybe more Apple stuff. Yeah, my biggest purchase ever has been this iBook and I'm enjoying every moment of it. I think my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up again. lol. Gimp.

2005-03-14T01:50:00.000-05:00

Supreeme.

This group is just hott. Check out their sound. Go here.

2005-03-13T02:52:00.000-05:00

Bandwidth. Pure and simple.

Yes. After toiling since like 10pm to get Road Runner to cooperate with my iBook, here at my house in North Carolina, I finally got the connection operational about 10 minutes ago. Road Runner is just so damn fast. And it really seems all the more faster on a fast computer. The Compaq here needs some work, and I figure I'll go out and do some upgrades one day next week when I get the car. The first order of business, however, is doing the usual virus taming and destroying. lol.

Actually, I'm pretty certain that the computer needs a processor update. Or there just might need to be a new computer, also. It's running a 500Mhz AMD something or another that was halfway popular back when I was leaving 8th grade. I'm a sophomore in college now. Yeah, you catch my drift.

So, we finally got home around 8pm, after stopping by Pizza Hut to pick up dinner. lol. It's amazing how quality pizza looks. Crust wasn't burnt to a crisp, cinnamon sticks weren't drenched in cinnamon (and they were hotter than hott), and the topping weren't burnt to high hell. I think I had about 5 slices...only limited to that amount because the rest of the family had to eat also. Otherwise, I would have gone for my usual 9 slices with a glass or three of water and 4 cinnamon sticks. Don't worry, I'll pay for it when I'm 30. ;)

Tomorrow.

My plans tomorrow are to do some cleaning around the house, read a bit for some classes that I know I could be doing much better in, and continue my excessive and suddenly overzealous reading of venture capital blogs and similar things. Basically, it all amounts to enjoying this ridiculously fast Internet connection. My family absolutely must get up to speed literally. I believe, that, on Wednesday I'm going to make a trip over to Best Buy and make use of that plastic--again. The computer here just really needs some upgrading. Most interestingly, my mom is starting to use the computer a lot more, and overall, it needs to be a more robust, powerful system to handle the demands of the different users. My mom and her use of memory-hogging Office 2003, my dad and his constant Internet usage (must kill spyware), and my brother and his constant installation of games.

Any system that has to support multiple users must be robust. It can't crash as soon as you tell it to close a window. lmao. That's what happens to this computer at home. But, I seriously know that the biggest issues with the machine are that it's old, loaded with software that makes much more intense demands than the software that came out when the computer was manufactured (1999), and it's worse than a level four CDC virus lab when it comes to harboring lethal viruses. At one point in time, I pulled 47 different viruses off that computer. Is that atrocious or what?! lol. For some reason, Symantec's Anti-Virus software can't be fully trusted to automatically update itself when you originally told it to. Maybe I'm not 100% familiar with the software, but there definitely needs to be some sort of redundancy built into it. Sheesh.

But, alas, I have a whole week to enjoy being at home. It's not like I have to leave in the morning. ::Gasps::

2005-03-12T01:34:00.000-05:00

WiFi all up and down the highway.

Yeah, so on my way out of DC today with my mom and bro, I had the iBook on my lap driving away from campus, and wow. I was so amazed as we drove through downtown and right outside the Washington Convention Center, the Airport signal from the convention center reached my iBook. Too bad this network was one you had to pay for and I only picked up on it at the light. We weren't staying there forever. Moving right along...

As we got further downtown, more wifi connections started popping up. I mean, at one point, I had a choice of 8 or 9 networks to attempt to connect to. Some of them weren't exactly public (required a password or a fee), but it was so amazing. I've used wifi all along, but remember, my Thinkpad broke down and thus, I never got to use the wireless outside of my room. ...Always anchored to that desk! But, driving down the street in DC and picking up on so many networks was just the best.

What was even more amazing was the idea of driving down 395 South and picking up on the wireless signals from routers in the apartments along the highway. That was soooo smooth. Only problem here was that we were travelling too fast to check out if I could connect to any of them. And even if I could, we were still moving, so I couldn't sustain a connection. The sheer idea, though...was great.

So, did I finall get a connection? Yeah. When we pulled up in the hotel parking lot that I'm in now, another connection popped up. It was the hotel's network. Free! lol. It's fast as crap. And crap is fast. I'm trying to think of things to download on this absolutely clean and fast network. You know, big files to download to really see how fast it can get. lol. Bandwidth tests!!

::Runs a test on cnet.com::

This Wayport Access connection is running me about 1304 Kbps. That's not bad at all. Certainly faster than what I get in my dorm. I believe the connection at my house on RoadRunner, however, is faster.

More reading...more snaps from the entrepreneurship bug.

So, I did more reading tonight, and I even went so far as to write out a generic plan for a software suite that deals with information management in business. No, it's not your usual Excel spreadsheet-type stuff. More details on it later, when I get more details on it myself. lol.

I remember Yadav commenting that the best way to learn is to read. He's so right! I don't care too much to read my textbooks, lol, but I love read blogs online and digging for info on every topic that I can think of. We don't need paper books anymore. We just don't.

A site I discovered some time ago, that I really think everybody should be allover, is ChangeThis. All the information that you'll ever get from this site is organized into "manifestos" and they're just great.
A list of my favorites is coming later. I'll bet I should be in the bed...so I can stay awake in the car tomorrow. Gahh...

2005-03-11T00:28:00.000-05:00

Triumph.

So, in a fit of phone calls and activating little plastic objects and walking with the utmost in purpose, I hoped on the metro this morning and took the orange line to Clarendon. What's so special about Clarendon? The Apple Store. That's what!

After walking around like a fat kid in amazement in a candy store, I told one of the Apple folks that I wanted an iBook. I was trying my hardest to supress a smile of the brightest kind, but it just wasn't working. After five minutes or so, the man at the register came back with a big white box and a grey handle with this nice little face posted on the outside of it...the face of the iBook. I pulled out all the plastic I had to identify myself, and quickly made the purchase!

Folks, I have an iBook!

Okay, so the activity that's been occupying most of my time since getting it back to my dorm has been transferring all my files from my Thinkpad. That mostly consists of music. I set up file sharing with a Windows PC on the Mac and then started posting all the music from the Thinkpad to the Mac via the Thinkpad. So, actually, anybody on the school's network can have access to this computer. I'm almost done transferring everything.

The only thing left to do is install a few more applications like all the Microsoft Office 2003 stuff, and I have to find a Fortran compiler for the Mac. I know they're out there...just gotta find 'em!

But, I finally got the Mac. Now, I have to deal with the credit card bill. lol. Yeah, I made a pact with myself that a computer would be the other thing to go on that credit card and anything else would be paid for in cash. Charging little things like clothes, etc. is just so pointless--although I suspect I might be doing that a small period of time from now so that I can have some decent clothing for IBM. But, even then, there's a better way...just save money that isn't used for food and bills to buy clothes. With that in mind, that's a plan.

But, hoo-hooo! I got a Mac. And oh, the Apple Store was so fascinating. I felt like I had stepped over to California, you know, somewhere outside of Stanford. I was uber-laidback, but at the same time giddy with excitement over all the crap that was in there. It was a Macgeek's paradise. Powerbooks everywhere, iBooks everywhere, enough iPods to fuel one helluva party...and OH! I saw the 30" screen with the DVI hookup. That thing was so fcuking huge. It was clearly not for somebody that does random stuff like typing papers and writing programs, i.e. not me. I don't need a screen that damn big--I promise I don't. I know of some folks that might (no, not personally), but I'm sure they exist. Hell, one of these days, I'm going to really get a deeply expensive Mac setup. For right now, I'll start slow, however.

Comments?

I really like the feel of this keyboard. It reminds me of the Thinkpad's keyboard, but it's not exactly so slippery like that one. The keys are very responsive. The only thing I'm slightly annoyed with, however, is how loud the clicking sound on the touchpad is. I'll get over it, but Apple can stand to smooth that out. Battery life? Long. Nearly six hours. That's a car ride home from DC to NC if I don't blast music the entire way.

There's still a few features I haven't really made use of just yet. I haven't burned a CD yet, haven't checked out the Firewire and USB ports, haven't tried to hook it up to an external display, and haven't used it in complete darkness. I've been focusing more on the software side of it.

Hahaha, ooooh. Speaking of software, I wrote some on this thing in Apple's Xcode. Xcode is absolutely the best developer suite out there. I'll be using a lot more of it in years to come. I'm so happy. I can't wait to go sit somewhere in public with this. lol.

I wonder what my mom is gonna say. Hopefully nothing at all. It's my computer! I'm gonna make the payments! I promise! lol. I'm calculating that for the price I paid for this, the payments shouldn't be anything more than $50 or so a month. If they're even that much, I'm going to pay more. I said I was going to work toward actively paying down this balance. So, I'll commit at least $75 toward each month on what I'm making right now as a TA.

lol. Being a TA is one of the most hilarious jobs you can have on a university campus. I take it seriously, but you can't take it too seriously or else you won't have fun and may not be able to inspire folks who...need it. I try to be light-hearted about everything that's going on in the class--everything from the scary test scores from half the class to the folks that have only turned in one assignment the entire semester to people that I've never even seen before who somehow know exactly when to show up for tests. It's all just a huge game to some folks. I started letting folks do things over again when I realized the problem with a few of them is that they were just afraid to ask for help.

It's pretty obvious that a few people will get A's if they keep up with their current work trend and don't crap out when they come back from Spring Break. Other folks...ahh.

Speaking of Spring Break, I'm looking forward to sitting around the house, relaxing, and hopefully going to Georgia. After the Christmas Break visit down there, I'm convinced I might still need to consider going to Georgia Tech or something. lol. The hilarity of smelling weed on your aunt and uncle while the whole family bops their head to "Let's get blown" is just too much for me.

Alas, I still have class and things to do for today. With any amount of luck, some professors won't show up. Let's hope Coulomb is one of them. ;) Don't need that kind of send-off. lol.

2005-03-08T04:24:00.000-05:00

So, I can't do physics. What else will make me a poor scientist?

It has become grossly apparent that physics is not my best sport. I'm pretty decent with knowing how gravity works, but other than that, this fundamental science does not pique my interest. I just finished this horribly long physics session with my best friend who is a physics major. We finished most of the problems, but it just serves to highlight how, as a computer scientist, I am absolutely arrogant and oblivious to physics. I don't have any interest in it. My friend is balding, sleepless, and nearly insane because of it, and I don't appreciate how much time it takes away from my other endeavours.

But, alas, I put up with it.

The concern these days is about kids not being mathematically and scientifically competitive with kids in other countries such as China, Russia, and places we haven't messed with politically recently, but are really going to be (or maybe already are) hotspots in terms of say, economic development and opportunity. There are over one billion Chinese and their educational system is comprehensive and complete. There is no room for the little folks that can't do physics...or calculus...or write computer programs. This isn't entirely true, but hey, those kids are pretty smart! They take education seriously because in some respects, it's not widely available to everybody.

Why? The issue that is important is that the system is competitive. If you're not smart enough to do better than little Mei Ling, for example, you could very well be arranging to pick up the trash of Mei Ling in Beijing one day. Mei Ling will be a white collar worker, and yours will be blue. The system makes up for the fact that over a third of the population is composed of students. Want to read more? Chinese Education

Now, there's always an American side to an international problem. No, not that we started it (lol), but that we share in it in terms of...we have a "version" of that problem here. Except, in our case, I don't believe our educational system is competitive enough, and students aren't being adequately prepared. Alas, there are solutions. We set up magnetic schools and try to homeschool kids thinking they're going to do better. A lot of the time, that all works just fine. But, sometimes, there needs to be another brand of intervention--from institutions of higher education. That's where Howard University has come in. I was intrigued to see that the University is opening a math and science middle school for students in Washington, DC entering the 6th grade.

Washington, DC public schools are bad from what I'm hearing and occasionally seeing as a student myself in DC. This is a great step forward in working to brighten the educational opportunities in DC. One step at a time, folks. One step at a time...

2005-03-06T13:35:00.000-05:00

What used to be.

Tonight, I was reading through this old Power Macintosh 7200 user's guide and I came across various ways of updating the system software for the computer. The most detailed method, first and foremost, was the use of "online services", such as AppleLink, eWorld, CompuServe, and hahaha, gopher. It's funny, considering all the things that used to be.

I sometimes wonder where my first book on the Internet is. Did I throw it away? Or did I let somebody borrow it and they didn't return it (which is often the case...)? Either way, it's got some important history in it. For example, it highlights how Yahoo! was basically the best search engine out there at the time (circa 1995 or so) and also spoke of other search engines, such as AltaVista, Excite, etc. More interestingly, there was no mention of Google, because haha, they didn't exist. Or at least, they were still just an experiment at Stanford. I wonder what it is, though. Two of the most prominent search engines ever were products of Stanford University. Stanford is a huge incubator for high-tech talent, and it'd be interesting to see what folks here at Howard could come up with. I say that in the Department of Engineering, we hold an entrepreneurship fair, along with the usual career fairs.

I was going on about this earlier to somebody. I think to some extent, too much emphasis here is put on building a career with somebody else rather than building your own enterprise. My goal is to build up all the experience I can muster during my internships and co-ops, and then use that knowledge to build up my own company. As I mentioned before, I've cultivated a small circle of successful entrepreneurs as friends (not just because they run businesses...lol...no gold-digging here) who have been able to provide great insights and know-how. It's always great to build yourself up by standing on the shoulders of giants. Plus, my reading over the last couple of months has gotten nearly violently out of control. I've all of a sudden been transformed into one of those people that "read voraciously." Yeah, I've been reading through so many venture capitalist blogs and through so many books, etc. that my eyesight is going bad. Yes. I figure when I come back for the 2005-2006 school year, I'm going to have glasses.

With the amount of work that I do on computers these days, it's almost inevitable that I'll need glasses. Maybe in a cheeky little way, I'm happy about it. lol.

Either way, I believe I'll be getting my iBook sometime this week, just in time to do some serious coding over spring break. I hear from my mom that we might be still going to Georgia, so to have some coding to do on the road trip will be absolutely great. Maybe I can clear that IB off my transcript and convert it to an A with a bit of ingenuity and determination over spring break. My final project for Large Scale Programming never reached the professor and thus he gave me an incomplete for the class. When I get it to him, I figure he'll change it to an A.

Decisions, decisions...

I wasn't originally going to buy an iBook over spring break, seeing as how I'd probably catch hell from my mom about buying a computer knowing that I'm about to be out of school for the next nine months, and thus have no academic need for one. What's even more intriguing is that I'll be doing a co-op at IBM, and I could get a computer from them on employee discount. But, for some reason, I don't want to do that. I'm going to buy the iBook on probably Tuesday, if my credit card gets here in time. I suppose it might even be here tomorrow. Either way, I'll wait until I have the time to go get it: Tuesday. Whooo! I'm excited.

I was campaigning for a job on campus working at an Apple lab somewhere in the graduate school. With the IBM co-op popping up, I declined to even interview for it. The lady was pretty surprised when I told her what had transpired--that I basically accepted a position at IBM and wouldn't be around for the Fall 2005 semester. She was surprised because I'm also such a Mac person (see above, lol).

Platform independence is actually my thing. I'm also learning to work successfully in UNIX, so wherever I go, I can cope. I'm getting so proficient at what I do these days that to some extent I don't even need a GUI anymore, even though they're very nice to have on certain platforms. In the CLDC, some old hands came back and complained that there was no UNIX system running. I figure after spring break, I will come back and set up one. For right now, I borrowed an old O'Reilly book from the lab, Essential System Administration and it's actually been useful.

I was messing around with some Perl scripts on my system earlier and I decided to make the scripts themselves executables. This didn't require much, but I had never messed around with file permissions, so I went to the book and read up on how to do it. It's interesting how you really do learn something new everyday.

It really goes back to what I talked about in my interview. I'm a person who relishes learning new things all the damn time and generally, a lot of the hobbies I engage in require that. Good stuff.

So what's doing for today? I know that I need to wash clothes. But, I'm also contemplating going out into the city and rounding up a couple of pairs of pants. I bought some shirts on Friday, but I know that won't amount to much if I have no decent pants to wear with them! Grrr...

2005-03-01T13:53:00.000-05:00

$theName =~ s/\bt(i|y)(f+|ph)(a|i)n(e+|y)?\b/Tiffani/i

Regular expressions are always so appealing. But, I'm off to physics now, and to deal with everything else for the rest of the day. Ciao.

2005-02-28T10:40:00.000-05:00

They came to their senses.

I am now an IBM intern. More details to come...

2005-02-28T04:05:00.000-05:00

Best Actor.

Congratulations to Jamie Foxx for winning the Oscar for Best Actor in Ray. It was truly a great movie, and he deserved it. ::Applause::

Yeah, so right now I'm up making perfect sense of all this physics for the midterm at 11am. It's amazing how much clarity you have at 4am after sleeping for approximately 2.5 hours. Here's the interesting thing: my alarm clock was unplugged, and I therefore, slept through my original alarm time of 3am. I woke up at exactly 3:42am, somehow having to use the restroom. I saw the glow-in-the-dark hands on my watch, and I really thought I had slept through everything, or I was somehow early, because I never heard my alarm go off. When I checked it, it was unplugged. Now, how the hell did that happen?!

I don't even want to speculate. Either way, it hasn't started snowing yet. I might as well make plans to ace this midterm, even though I'm terribly not in the mood to take it. That doesn't mean I'm unprepared, I'm just uninterested.

2005-02-27T21:48:00.000-05:00

Write the most obscene letter to the dean you can possibly write, and then scale it down for mass consumption. This isn't quite The New York Times, folks.

Okay, so the Coulomb situation has resolved itself. In order to save myself from anymore crappy grades because of wasting time on a useless class on my schedule, I've decided to drop that class and then write a strongly worded letter to the Dean of Engineering to let him know just what it is that his students have to put up with everyday. Oh yeah, and to emphasize that Assistant Professor Coulomb should not be given tenure. That's only reserved for professors that have the respect of students and faculty. HA!

2005-02-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

Voce E Eu Stan Getz.

It's a great thing to start a day listening to this song because I absolutely promise you will be relaxed in thought all day. Right now, I'm going over some calculus and mentally organizing my day to make sure that everything that needs to be done today gets done. I'm taking a nap after I finish this section, and I have a stronger resolve than ever before to get things absolutely done in a timely fashion so that this weekend, all I have to do is study for my physics midterm, write a couple of pieces of software, and do a bit of business reading.

Wow.

2005-02-24T05:28:00.000-05:00

Don't Rock the Boat

LOL. Today, I came home after the Data Communications midterm (yikes) and sent an email about administering an Apple lab at the graduate school. I'll have to interview some time next for it, however. Too many commitments this week--including an interview with IBM on Friday.

But, it was so nice for me to be fully rested for once. I slept from 1:52PM to 12:36AM, and actually I was preparing to roll back over and sleep until 8AM. I decided against it, however, and stayed up to do some calculus and read about Mac OS X Server. It turns out that Mac OS X Server has some great things incorporated in it that could really help this university out with its IT needs. I think that instead of using the Microsoft Exchange Server software that they're using now, which accounts for why no one uses their Howard domain email address, they should migrate everything over to Mac OS Server X's email management system. Reading about it makes it seem incredibly stable and I'd be highly interested in securing a copy of it in CLDC and administering an experiment with it from there.

Also, a bioinformatics project that I'm working out right now is going to perhaps have some high performance computing requirements. I actually doubt it, but that was just nice to say. lol. In any case, I've written a paper later about a method I think I'm pioneering in terms of genetics and computer science. I'll give you more details later when the paper is done, I've presented it to the University, and I've secured an iBook to start some serious work on it.

In any case, as I was walking in today, I noticed Dr. Harris, the community director, and some other people going around looking into rooms. Room inspections! Let's just say I failed mine. The writing was on the wall. Literally. Thanks to this ultra-high gloss paint job in these rooms, I decided to turn my largest wall into a massive dry-erase board. Nevertheless, I had forgotten about upcoming room inspections and left everything on there. After I took a nap today, I got a notice that started like this: "...you will be billed for painting your wall." lol. Not really. I spent an hour tonight scrubbing the walls down with Purex to bring them back to their former glory. It's interesting because the room looks bigger. I even decided to take the BMW posters off that wall, too. I think I'll put the one for 2003 back up.

Unfortunately, even though this week went quickly, I still have a load of obligations to meet this week before I can enjoy the weekend. Namely, I have to finish a Bioinformatics midterm, grade papers, student an entire chapter of calculus that I've failed to look at in the past, write a web service project proposal, and prepare for and interview with IBM. I can make it though. I think I need to start early and make sure I'm in the bed by 11PM tonight. I am realizing more and more that my lethargy and slow mental reaction times are due to not eating properly (i.e. not starting the day with breakfast) and not sleeping properly and consistently. My body has had enough, and it's letting me know. Rudely.

I think I'm going to finish looking over these calculus sections, review them, and then watch a bit of TV before lying down for a quick nap again. I believe I even have the financial resources to wash clothes, so I believe that is in order. This weekend, I need to go pickup several breakfast items, so that I can get back into the swing of eating before I start my day. It's only fair and ...imminently necessary.

2005-02-23T09:44:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get tired of being picked on by somebody that you just know is not quite as smart as you?

Okay, so today I went to bioenergetics. Yes, the week with Coulomb has started. Tell me why he is the most ignorant, belligerent, rude person I have ever met and I will write you a check for $100US dollars. All you have to do is track down my email address.

I'm really interested in going to the department chair about him now after this morning's little shuffle and slap. So, he gave us the take home midterm in class today. I looked over it, being the speed reader I am (did I tell you that I read The DaVinci Code in a day this weekend!?!), and then decided to look over the copy of The Wall Street Journal that I picked on my way out of the dorm this morning.

Please tell me why he zeroed in on me like a hawk and starts going on about how rude I am and "Oh...you just wanna sit in class and read your paper? Ohh..ok. I mean, that's fine. I'm talking and you're just reading your paper."

I was quite taken aback because it's not like I had the entire paper open and my face shielded. I just happened to have it down in my lap looking down at it. I knew what the midterm was all about, it was pretty straight-forward, just a repeat of things that he's done in class coupled with our reading assignment and the video lectures we were assigned to watch online. So, I felt it was okay to glance away for a little bit.

Now, was it my place to say something or just sit there looking at him with the fiestiest look of disdain that I could muster? Did I do the right thing in not saying anything particularly nasty back to him as I was gearing up to do? Or was it just better that I stayed the smarter one and just kept quiet? I don't know, folks, I don't know.

2005-02-20T02:18:00.000-05:00

The DaVinci Code and Physics

I have finally read The DaVinci Code. It was such a riveting story that I started reading yesterday around 6pm and I finished tonight around 1:50am. I simply could not put it down. I tried reading for my other classes, etc., but that wasn't going to happen without me finishing that book. Fortunately, for my productivity's sake this weekend, I finished. I'll give you a rundown of what I think about it, but for now, I'm going to take my newfound speed-reading skills and apply it studying for midterms. Yikes.

2005-02-18T19:36:00.000-05:00

More time spent here than anybody else on their first day...

So, at 7:37pm, I am still in the CLDC server room, hacking away at this idea for a new piece of software that I can basically use as my Web Services project and then extend into something more spectacular later. I found a whole slew of links that I'll post here later for sites that I'll be heavy into reading for the next few days. It turns out that I probably won't even contemplate leaving here tonight.

After searching around in the various stacks of computer books here, I found two that are of interest: The DaVinci Code and A Gift of Fire: Social, Ethical, and Legal Issues in Computing. The latter I can use in my research paper for bioinformatics and the former I've just been wanting to read anyway, but I was too cheap to buy. It was somebody else's copy, but I sent him an email telling him I'll have it.

This place is so interesting. There's so much computing power surrounding me right now that I could really write something horridly spectacular. I'm planning something really neat that I think was long overdue. Hopefully, it's not something somebody else was already working on.

If I knew this Suse Linux system any better, I'd start writing it right now. All I see that is familiar on here is Firefox, emacs, Adobe Reader, the Gimp, and Mozilla Composer. Basically, things that are also available on Wintel systems.

This weekend is going to be rather interesting. I have an assload of stuff to do. Most of it is immense amounts of reading, which shouldn't be that bad if I can drive myself to get dressed and get out of my dormitory. The place turns into "Soul Train" from like 12PM to 3:38AM, Sunday to Sunday. lol. If you really want to get anything done in terms of having complete peace and quiet, go to sleep during the day and wake up around 4:15am to start your day. You'd be semi-productive while the Sun is down and as soon as the Sun comes up, things should move right along. I know this strategy works because I've done it before. At 4:15am, you'd probably be the only one up laughing at informercials for weight loss products.

2005-02-18T17:38:00.000-05:00

CLDC!

So, now I'm in the CLDC officially. I just have to find a project to work on, and serve my time starting on Tuesdays. I'll be an operator in the lab on Tuesdays from 6-7pm and any other time that I can volunteer.

Earlier today I was learning some C stuff. I'm learning how to use Xcode and then do some other stuff in the CLDC.

2005-02-17T20:09:00.000-05:00

Vice President of the Howard University Chapter of the National Society of Black Engineers.

I think I'm going to run for that. The idea of president is okay, but I still think...iono. I'll probably end up running for president. We need to put NSBE back on the map. We need a unified engineering body on this campus. We need some unity. My platform is unity. ASME, AIChe, ACM, ASCE, etc. We all need to coordinate and really make engineering the hottness on this campus. I want to collaborate with CEACS.

I know it. I think it is President of the Howard University Chapter of the National Society of Black Engineers. Nez-BE!

2005-02-16T13:13:00.000-05:00

"...shawty wanna ride wit meh!" -Young Buck.

So, thanks to Headley, I got .NET back up and working. Now, I can get my web services work done. WhoooO! Making progress toward getting to lie around on weekends and not do anything related to school. Chaa...!

OMG. Dr. Burge is sooo fcuking hilarious. In web services today, we sat around and made jokes about...flat out vulgar things. Like the mutated AIDS virus. No, that wasn't particularly something that you want to admit to laughing at, but it was funny the way Burge was talking about it--"You betta watch out!! That could be you! And it'll eat you up in two weeks!" He was clearly starting a public health scare. But, it was funny.

Coulomb.

"That man is so socially behind..." That's soooo funny that that was said because it's basically true. I'm looking more and more at how he relates to folks, and good grief...he doesn't. I've never seen a more impersonal, belligerent, rude, and inept professor. Somebody being like that makes you want to question exactly how much they know.

I mean, this morning, I got my research paper back and he had written some pretty vague comments on it. Being the eager beaver I am to do well, I asked for clarification. What type of response did I get initially before prodding the man for more? "Uh...it's written in my comments."

No fucking kidding. If I wanted to know what you wrote, I'd read it. I'm asking for clarification, sir. Then, I end up being two steps from catching hell because I'm a sophomore in a graduate class. If that's not the most closed-minded response I've ever seen then I don't know what the hell to think. This is college. Whatever happened to encouraging people to go above and beyond their potential? Whatever happened to challenging folks?! To hear her say, "Well, you shouldn't be in a graduate class...you're a sophomore." is the most shit-ass thing I've ever heard. Again, I was insulted by this man. I really will go to the Dean if I get less than what I deserve. I'm going to eat his class alive. Just fucking watch.

T-Unit.

2005-02-16T06:31:00.000-05:00

Damn allergies are back.

So, I rolled over at 6:05 this morning to realize that somewhere between 2:47am and 6:04am, I had turned off my alarm clock. This was a potential disaster. Good thing my bladder wakes me up these days. I was going to roll back over and just hold it, but I decided against it and got up to start my day. Like I told some people last night, I wanted to get up and study and then just spend the rest of the day doing whatever, but I don't even know if that's going to happen. I'm holding office hours today from 5-7pm.

On that front, I doubt that anybody will show up. I had three hours worth on Monday, and not one person came through for help even though there are several who either ask about office hours all the time or clearly need help but don't come through. At this stage, I'm steady thinking about how it's really their loss and how a class as easy as FORTRAN shouldn't be a challenge to the point where people are failing tests miserably. Earlier, I believed that I had a stake in everyone's grade in the class. Now, I'm not so interested in "saving" everybody. Some people clearly need to get up and go for it themselves. And a few have. We had five people to get A's and a few more to get B's. I wonder, sometimes, if the fact that the rest of the class did so poorly is an indictment against myself and Dr. Paul. I know it isn't, but you still wonder sometimes if there is anything you could have done.

But, here is where we speak of dichotomies again. On one hand, you wonder if you could have saved anybody that failed. On the other hand, you know it was clearly a case of people not being sufficiently interested and motivated. But, even then, you wonder could you have motivated them more. But, to wrestle with ourselves even more, we say, "No, achieving good grades ought to be motivation enough. You can't do like your parents used to do and hand out $20 for every A in a class of 30. Surprisingly, you might actually become dirt poor." Such is life.

It just actually annoys me that more people in the class don't seem to care about their grades. And even after the plethora of failing test grades, people still come to class and run their mouths on everything from cell phones to AIM. Another popular phenomenon in the class is the use of thefacebook. There is almost a correlation. Many people who come to class and do everything but pay attention are not doing well in terms of grades. Also, I'm noticing that people that don't sit in the first two rows of the lab aren't doing well either. One exception to that does happen to exist, but he was smart anyway, so I don't think where he sits would make much of a difference.

The whole experience is almost a comedy of errors. Like, a full list of things that shouldn't be happening are. Or maybe I just need to stop getting so worked up over things that mostly don't concern me. Bob's grade is not Tiffani's grade. And if Bob is struggling, Tiffani can't have much effect over that grade unless Bob comes to Tiffani for help.

BitTorrent, Orange Juice, Photek, Adventures in Candor, and Why I Suddenly No Longer Want to Be HUSA President

Last night, I used BitTorrent for the first time ever to download the five years of entries on the boingboing blog. It turns out that a large portion of the bandwidth being used online these days is attributed to the use of this service, so there's got to be something particularly intriguing about it. I read about it in passing a long time ago and decided to download it just to keep up with the times, but it wasn't until last night that I actually used it. Remind me to go read about it again to really see what the hype was all about.

Orange juice is good. It makes you feel powerful. I just took my allergy medicine with a glass of it. Tasty.

Photek. OMG. Fans of Blade movies might remember an odd sounding track from the first Blade movie that was nothing more than a minimal drum and bass beat that played through the credits. After nearly seven years of wondering what the hell this song was, who produced it, and where I could get a copy of it, the Internet has finally come through. Fans should know it as "Ni Ten Ichi Ryu" by Photek. It's got a badddd beat on it and I can't wait to blast it with my creature speakers from JBL soon. I'm pretty sure I'll get some strange looks from blasting this song. Mmmmhmm.

I got a strange feeling last night from reading a certain book in Alex's room. Maybe I'll bring up more about it, but it really had me reeling. I left out in a semi-hurry with very little conversation. As I sat there reading it, I somehow wondered if I had missed something that other people my age had had. In all of my years of sitting in front of computers, trip-trapping back and forth to libraries, filling my head with knowledge to throw into papers and casual geeky conversation, I think I missed something else. While filling my head with techno and becoming a C/C++ dictionary, I missed other things. Candor? Not completely.

The HUSA presidency is not in the cards right now for me. I've been injected with the entpreneurship bug, and I can't exactly seem to rid myself of it. Now, I'm always on the lookout for things, always reading and paying close attention to my surroundings these days for ideas. I believe I'll be hit in time, but until that time comes, I'll keep building myself up. Lately, I've been reading a lot more outside of my textbooks because frankly, I'm tired of it appearing that I have very little time for myself outside of class. Although that may really be the case, I'm determined to not succumb to such a crappy fate. Your major shouldn't define your reading tastes. lol. If it did, you wouldn't have to wonder why I never exactly talk about anything I read.

IBM, Redux.

So, I officially have three more interviews with IBM personnel. I'll have to spend my time wisely for the rest of the week--reviewing myself, reviewing IBM, and reviewing things that I've learned in class. Ms. Pipkin has been very instrumental in securing these internship interviews for me, and I'd like to thank her for all of her work in getting my resume out there a few steps beyond what I could do. I suspect one of these interviews will work out. I just have to keep drinking that OJ to make sure my voice is poy-fect. lol.

2005-02-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

Dichotomies.

I was talking to a campus shuttle driver last night, and it turns out that he played the bass with Bootsy Collins decades ago. We knew there was something quite interesting about him, and it turns out this was it. He had a totally different side to him. He'd been driving for 35 years to pay the bills, but on the side he is also a professional musician.

I, on the other hand, am a student who likes to think of grandiose ideas and ways to implement these ideas. My day job? I just told you; I'm a student. The thing I like to do on the side? Design software, that, for right now, does absolutely nothing important except manage my schedule or lessen the time I have to spend doing useless math problems.

It really does seem as if everybody has two sides to them; things they do to make money and make sure that they don't starve, and then the things they do because they like them. This all goes back to a post on a blog that I've been following for a few months now: gapingvoid with Hugh McLeod. A post of particular interest is his Sex & Cash Theory that basically everybody with a life seems to go by. Yeah, there are a lot of people that have jobs that don't amount to work for them because they like them that much, but not everybody is blessed in that direction. I like school, but I'm really starting to wonder how much it's going to matter in ten years. Plus, I wonder each and every day if I'm really getting as much as I paid for, or am I just getting access to some seriously powerful computer equipment for $20K a year.

Most of the time, I like to think that I'm getting what I pay for, but...sometimes you have other interests that interject and make you feel like they need to supercede all other matters. My grades are great, it's just that the interest is waning.

2005-02-12T00:47:00.000-05:00

"...me and you...yo' mama and yo' cousin toooo..." -Outkast.

I wish the world was the way it used to be. I'm going to move to Atlanta. Outkast.

2005-02-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

More stuff from inside my cranium...

"You are really have to stop defining yourself in terms of what other people would like for you to do and be. They're never, ever going to map out the best course for you. If you want to start something big, start it. Somebody has to do those things." -my conscience.

You ever wrestle with a thought? I mean, as in fight it, slap it around, then make up with it, and finally, go back to swinging at it? I do. All the time. That's what happens when you have a lot of stuff inside your head fighting for your immediate attention. BAM BAM BAM BAM. ;)

2005-02-11T19:59:00.000-05:00

"...They'll just watch us glow..." -Kelis.

Today marked the end of one of the most interesting and productive weeks for me in a long time. I'm still in the business of reading extensively, and now I've really taken to reading the Wall Street Journal everyday. Today's issue wasn't as particularly interesting as yesterday's, with Carly Fiorina's image plastered on fewer pages today. Her firing to me is not surprising, looking at more details about it. Peter Drucker brought up some valid points that relate directly to something I said yesterday about why she was removed.

As the chief executive, ultimately, through the leadership structure she had set up, all decisions had to pass through her. With this set of circumstances, she didn't have much focus on anything in the company because her hands were in all of HP's various pots. Drucker talked about the idea that a CEO should find two things to focus on and then adhere fervently to focusing on them. When those objectives are done, does one move on to a third objective? No. One makes a new list of two foci and keeps focus on them. Fiorina reportedly worked 100-hour work weeks and handled so very much. Arguably, there couldn't have been much focus there.

I'm no business analyst, but HP seemed like an awkward company with her at the helm. I think the whole Compaq merger arrangement is what made HP seem kind of strange to me. I read a book in my junior or senior year of high school about what HP used to be like, and I finished this book a small period of time before the merger and I was pretty certain that it was going to be turn out to be awkward. And I thought this, not because HP was crappy, but that it would be so because Compaq was crappy. Compaq isn't particularly known for quality, performing computers. In recent times, they've really taken a serious backseat to companies such as Dell that offer better computers through better performance and quality and better technical support. I never had any problems with Compaq technical support, but I found that Compaq computers are typically made of less than quality components...or at least I say that about the Compaq I had.

CLDC Redux.

So, I went to the CLDC volunteer's meeting today and it was...lame, so to speak. I'm pretty sure I will spend more time developing on my new notebook around mid-March when it comes in versus writing anything for them. I really didn't like the emphasis on treating you like an absolute beginner just because your favorite language is Java. I'm not too interested in showing up for a class on how to build computers either. That's something I did when I was 12. I don't need a refresher eight years later.

You know, Edwin calls this cockiness. I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I just like to engage in what I call redundant learning. If I already have knowledge in something, why should I be interested in going back to learn it from the start allover again? I don't know if they're requiring us to go through this little course on how to build a computer, but I'm not interested.

I already said I was going to spend spring break writing a business plan and working on some applications for web services. I didn't talk much about my ideas with the folks in CLDC. I told Claude about my interest in starting a company after I graduate and he gave me some information that I didn't necessarily agree with, but considered for what it was worth. He mentioned that if you work in industry for little, you come out with a sense of perspective that you really don't get as a student. He meant that you start seeing things that companies that you work for don't do that you could pick up on, or things that could be done better. More or less, right now, I'm looking for somebody who would partner up with me. I'm really frustrated with the fact that here, and I may have said this once before, the emphasis is really more on building a career working for someone else. That's all well and good for some people, but I'm barely interested in that. I'd much rather build my own enterprise and work at it and know that that's something I built. It's really not even an ego trip sort of thing. Claude mentioned the amoutn of work it would take; I'd be up for it because I know it'd be something I was building.

J2EE.

Right now, I'm reading the J2EE tutorial. I'll get back later.

2005-02-10T23:44:00.000-05:00

Carly Fiorina is ousted and I'm angry.

But, those two two statements are not fundamentally related. The former CEO of HP, the computing giant known for its origins in a garage somewhere near Stanford, has moved and removed its five-year CEO, Carly Fiorina. A unanimous board decision, details of which were provided to Fiorina in a four-page paper, brought about the ouster. Basically, Fiorina was somewhat a powerhog in my opinion. A lot of executive decisions had to go through her. Yes, that's a good thing because she was CEO. No, that's a bad thing because it really started to seem like she was the only one making the big decisions. She failed to delegate. Morale at HP suffered, and perhaps, most importantly, the HP-Compaq merger didn't pay off the way Fiorina had promised. Compaq still sucks and HP's computing unit is still not all that profitable.

I'm starting to think the entire PC sales idea as a whole isn't profitable unless you're Dell. They've streamlined the entire process of selling computers down to only having enough components in the warehouse for the number of computers they're projected to sell. Having extras on hand is extremely costly. Dell doesn't have that problem.

IBM realized that selling PCs and generally, hardware, was not a lucrative proposition. Moreover, technology isn't developing rapidly enough right now for people to really go out and buy the absolute latest technology. Things, the way I see them, are happening more in increments. No more disruptive technologies right now.

Madness.

I know I'm going to catch heat in the morning. Coulomb didn't come back to his office and get my paper to look over. Apparently, he holds other people to what's mentioned on his syllabus--everyone except himself, that is. He's supposed to hold office hours from 11-2pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. He was clearly gone when I got to his office around 125pm on Wednesday. I left the paper. Why was it still hanging there tonight?

I sense some tension with this professor. I don't think either one of us are going to like the outcome.

Internships and Capitalism.

The engineering career fair is being held next week and I will be back on the grind to market myself after IBM's egregious error. Do you know that that man still hasn't written me back? That's fine because I will still prevail in the end, as in, before I graduate, I will start a software company. I will be self-sufficient. My life will be bettered through this market economy. As of right now, I'm really focusing heavily on enterprise software after I spoke to a friend of mine who described software he wants for his business. I'm thinking of coming to him with a proposal for an entire enterprise/information technology suite that could really rocket his business, but I really have to get the details in order. If I did such a thing, he would be my first customer...

I really see a huge market for the kind of software I would offer. Other companies purport to do it already. I don't think they do it. I think they lose focus of what the software should focus on--streamlining the relationship between customer and business. It is the business of making both producer and consumer happy. I think I could design software that effectively does this based exactly on what my friend was saying he wanted. Give me spring break and I will have a business plan. All companies on campus could be wired.

It's like I told Jana, I'm going to spend spring break writing two different business plans. Chinelo, a new trusted friend of mine with real experience in these matters, recommends it and frankly, I'm tired of living with all this knowledge in my head and applying it to little more than class projects and random things that I write in my room to pass the time. It's time for some real disruption.

2005-02-09T09:24:00.000-05:00

Stupid policy.

So, today I walk into Bioinformatics approximately three minutes late. The professor isn't lecturing, but she sure isn't happy to see me. She is taking up our research papers and passing out some handout about frankenfoods. She mentions that she needs to see me in her office. I figure it's about the idea that I'm not a senior and I theoretically shouldn't be in a graduate class. Instead, it's something horrendously petty, as in..."Your lateness...If it's going to continue, you might need to consider dropping this class."

Not only was this one of the dumbest things I've heard in a long time, it was one of the most superficially idiotic things that could have been brought up. I mean, as in, what the hell are you talking about?! Just how do you justify telling somebody that other than, "Oh yeah, it's in the syllabus. Read it and weep." No, she didn't actually say that, but good grief, she might as well have.

It was practically an insult and an oversimplification. Oversimplification how? Oversimplification as in, that's all you've broken me down to as a student? I come to class late, so nothing else matters. What about all that reading I've done? What about the fact that I fucking own bioinformatics?! Don't get me started and excruciatingly angry in here.

I'll start throwing stuff.

CLDC.

So, yeah. I got recruited today by the big man himself, Claude, to come do some software development at the CLDC in the engineering building. Now, I can probably sit down in peace and do some J2EE stuff. I could do in my own room, but my computer is all slow and run over. lol. I'm buying a new Toshiba somewhere around April, so all that slowness will be alleviated. I'm keeping the ThinkPad around just as a backup system for the web stuff I'm about to do, but otherwise, come mid-April, I'm gonna be a Toshiba fan...

But, yeah. The CLDC ought to be interesting enough to work in. I don't have any concrete ideas now of stuff that I want to work on, even though I need some ideas for web services, but I'll think of something to make use of all those resources. I happened to be in there one day last semester for some odd reason (I think the door was open and I followed a friend in) and I saw like this awesome server farm. And they were getting more in. I think they were Dell PowerEdge servers or something, but the whole setup was pretty hott.

They have some serious ass computer resources between the main CLDC and the "client" CLDC. The main CLDC is where all the hardcore ish goes down. The guy I talked to today about it has been there since 1993--dude didn't graduate. Now, it looks like he's back to finish what he started. He's a senior, so he'll get to graduate next year I believe.

That's pretty interesting, though.

Stuck at the iLab--because I don't wanna go home.

Yeah, after finishing up studying for calculus this afternoon I walked over to the iLab. Mmmhm.

2005-02-07T11:03:00.000-05:00

Mentally sickly? or Overqualified. or You're still the hottness!

Alright, folks. So, my bid with IBM turned out for naught. I was at the iLab this morning printing out my bioinformatics chart and I saw the reply to the thank you note I sent to the guy I interviewed with.

I'm not even bothered in terms of "Ohhhh, who got it?!" I'm bothered in terms of "What the hell?! What kept me from getting it?" I'm going to consult with my mom later and then send an email asking why I didn't get the internship. There's nothing to lose by asking for a bit of feedback. It'll help me in the future.

Either way, companies that pass on me are losing out. So, the company that snatches me up will have a continent's worth of goldmines on their hands. I am the hottness. There is no other person in computer science sharper than me. I fucking guarantee it.

2005-02-02T22:03:00.000-05:00

"...and you got killed..."

More to come, folks...

2005-02-02T04:01:00.000-05:00

IBM likes me.

Alright, folks. While lying in my bed earlier yesterday, I heard the phone go off. I was going to answer it, but I sound like crap if I answer the telephone from a deep sleep. Not crap as in not sexy, but crap as in "Good Lord?! Is this Tiffani or do I have the wrong number? Is this Joe's cab service? You sound just like Joe...did you know that?!"

Yeah, that's really how bad I sound. Folks can tell when I've just awakened by how harshly I say "hello" on the phone. lol.

So, when I get up an hour later..lol...I check my messages. There's an old one from Desiree explaining her drunken phone call at 2:30AM the other day, then..there is IBM. It turns out they liked my resume enough that I submitted through INROADS that they'd like to interview me. It'll be a phone interview. That makes me increasingly less nervous. I'm actually rather confident about this.

Go to bed, son!

I can't. That's why I'm blogging. I'm too overcome with all of the stuff that I have to do today. Papers to grade, programs to write, a paper to write, research to do, interviews to rehearse, assurances to make. And on top of that...I have to sleep. I must sleep somewhere that will not throw off my usual schedule. I don't think I can sustain much more of this senselss sleeplessness. It's just not fair to this temple. Things are getting bad on that front...

How can I be so assured of this? Well, on Monday, I went to sleep in calculus. Yeah, to some folks that may be no big deal, but I have a track record of never going to sleep in class. I traditionally couldn't go to sleep in class as much as I have tried! lol. But, on Monday, all it took was for me to go face-down in my calculus book and I was out. I'm pretty sure I was gone for at least 10 minutes when the professor started passing back quizzes and got to me. I was face-down and people were tapping me. Gahhh...the shame.

2005-01-31T06:03:00.000-05:00

Decentralized information-centric architectures for school stuff!

Decentralize the information, yet on-demand, aggregate it into one. The University needs this. That way, if one branch fails, you still have the other ones. The University needs this. Centralizing your data is a sure-fire way to lose it. P2P networks are built from this concept...why can't my University be?

2005-01-31T05:05:00.000-05:00

"You can come see me...." -112.

I cannot stop blogging. I've been reading so much lately that so many ideas are passing through my head that I swear I am literally going to burst. I am going to have one hell of an aneurysm and I will live through it. My head is teeming with music, ideas, papers I want to write, ideas for programs, information problems, business ideas, things that I need to say. I work daily now at being more articulate. I reportedly used to be the little proper reporter-type as a little kid, but somewhere around middle school in my frenzy to attempt to fit in, I lost touch with that. You know, around the point where my music tastes died.

Being a TA has really helped me get some of my English fluency back. I can't just grunt or say damn near anything. One of my missions as a TA is to get a point across. Thus, I have to be organized in thinking and speaking. On Wednesday night of last week, I helped someone who had never programmed before write their first program. It was an exhilarating experience. It was made possible by two things in synergy--my ability to explain the concepts behind programming and this person's ability to grasp everything I was saying. It worked out well; he's a programmer now.

More?...yes, please.

Lately, I've been really digging into my coursework over in the labs of computer science. I've spent increasingly large amounts of time in one of the more high-performance labs in the engineering building--so much so that they're offering me a job there. lol. Yeah, I'll take it. It's a great environment. There, I'll be free to develop all this software that I discuss all the time. Recently, so much code and ideas have been flowing through my head, that, like I said above, I swear my head is going to explode.

I cannot stop thinking about what the next killer app will be. The other day I was in calculus daydreaming about overtaking ISAS and making the University a seriously more information-rich campus. Right now, there's too much legwork and asynchronicity. It takes too long to do things; it takes too long to discover things that are simple bits of information--it takes them too long to print a transcript.

I've been taking a hard look at the information services of this University and I displeased. I am generating a notebook of information services that would rock this University to its core. No such thing as waiting in line to put money on your meal plan card. Want to transfer money from your bank account to your laundry card? Use your cell phone. I want to engineer services like that.

We're at the Mecca...we've been more than ready for these things.

2005-01-31T04:22:00.000-05:00

You ever wonder what dreams really mean?

Every now and then at some point during the night, more than likely on nights where I'm getting at least 8 hours of sleepy (rarely, basically), I'll have either a dream or a nightmare or some convoluted mixture of the two. The latest one is of particular concern because it addressed something that I've been told for years, read in books, heard from mouths, saw in action, and yet, never could find myself to fully live by without being rash about it.

In the dream, I'm at my house, laid across the couch in a state that is sleep. It's very intriguing because it's almost as if I'm in "layers," so to speak. Layer one is the real me sleeping, as in the physical me now. lol. Layer two is me in the dream watching myself sleep. Layer three is everything that the dream me is perceiving. For some reason, I am in the dream watching myself sleep. I look relaxed--dead, in fact. I am not dead, however. I am dreaming.

In that dream during the dream, I hear my mom's voice. She is telling me something that is really of no consequence here, but the message is clear and whether or not I follow it will forever affect what I am in life. The words echo in my head even now...I don't know what the dream was for, where it came from, or why it was inspired at such a critical time in my life. But, I intend to follow it.

Following this dream means I will do some pretty interesting things before I graduate. I will not list them here, because that's the customary thing to not do. They don't involve what you're thinking...but things will get pretty interesting on my end of the stick. Watch me now. I will move in the shadows and overcome those who try to overstep their boundaries with me. The dream has subsequently made me stronger because it didn't involve BMWs, SLRs, no money, no huge houses, no prestige, no comedy, no laughter, barely any light. But, I know what the dream stands for now. I know why I had it.

I needed perpetual FUEL. Will I ever burn out? Not now, folks.

2005-01-30T13:48:00.000-05:00

Is distributed software the answer to making our university faster?

So, in all of the deluge of learning I've done this semester, I have formally come across the concept of distributed computing. I've been looking at it for a couple of years now, but I finally have the resources to make efficient use of it. Interestingly, I see it as a way to make our university faster, more efficient, and overall, more organized.

The housing situation, for example, could have been remedied by a nice set up of constantly synchronously communicating software programs in different areas of the university. Software at Residence Life could have maintained a count of how many housing spots were available and software in the cashier's office could have kept a count of how many housing deposits have been paid. The two software programs could have formed a synchronous system that eventually kept everyone abreast of the housing situation. Students could have tapped into this information resource simply by keeping a small ticker on their desktop that is updated when the rest of the information in the system is updated.

This continuous flow of constantly updating information can be enabled quickly by creating distributed software. The architecture for the system would be simple to draw up, as would the protocols and the various pieces of software that would make the system work. The biggest concerns, I foresee, are network reliability issues and security.

If there is a network failure somewhere in the system, such as someone's computer in Slowe Hall becomes a zombie and crowds the network with spam, how would that affect the system that manages the housing information? Secondly, what keeps someone from editing the information that the system has stored thus far?

This way of managing information via distributed systems is highly feasible. How is it distributed, though? My understanding of distributed computing is different computers providing services to clients on a network. In this particular case, different kinds of information are kept on two separate systems in quite possibly, two different buildings on campus. However, when the system is stripped down to the primary user, the student, the information from the other two disparate systems is aggregated into one place, the ticker sitting on the student's desktop, which can be updated as long as that student is anywhere on campus.

How does this solve the ticket problem though?

The ticket problem was an interesting problem simply because it was an information problem. Those who held tickets were pretty sure they were entitled to pay their housing deposit. The fundamental issue behind this, however, was that how were people supposed to know exactly how many tickets had been given out? Even though administration emphasized that they were only letting 1,550 people register for housing, how were people really supposed to know that the ticket they received while skipping English really entitled them to anything? In all reality, what kept people from making their own tickets, complete with the "official stamping on the back"?

To make a long story short, paying the housing deposit should have been something that was subordinated to BisonWeb. The problem with that, however, is being sure that the network would have been able to fight off the inevitable congestion. We all saw how someone was reportedly trampled outside the A-building in an attempt to get a ticket. It was a riot. Literally. Could our network sustain that type of traffic? That has yet to be seen...

But, the engineering of minute services such as a housing tracker, etc. could be done with a bit of planning and the cooperation of the University. I'll see what I can do.

2005-01-26T02:50:00.000-05:00

Ten days ago it was off to Hell I sent thee, now it's all about the Benjies...WHAT?!

First of all...the housing frenzy. I heard one girl was trampled in front of the administration building and other people got into fights over what appeared to be Willie Wonka Chocolate-style "golden tickets." Let's face it, folks. Housing here at Howard University is treacherously scarce...as in, "yeah, if we can't find you a bed on campus, we'll be glad to negotiate contracts for boxes with U-Haul for you. I mean..hey, it's something." No, the situation is not that bad, but I'm only able to say that because I was blessed enough to be able to register for housing. Lots of folks got caught out there...as in, not being at the right place at quite the right time. It's a pretty unfortunate situation...one that I hope can be remedied soon. Howard needs housing, folks. Alumni, where art thou?

Jenkies...you drew that?!

Yes, folks. I can still draw. One night I was horrendously bored and I knew that I wanted to create better flyers to advertise ACM here at Howard. I mean, it was to the point where the executive board members were the only ones that were showing up to general body meetings. We were having, basically, executive board meetings on top of executive board meetings on top of executive board meetings. Nobody knew about us. So, again...always the person who likes to solve problems and do cool stuff, I sat down the other night and started drawing. The result? An awesome flyer that potential ACM members have been taking notice of--which is exactly what I wanted. Now, I just hope that when we have meetings, the flyers will have had some sort of effect.

In any case, we've got a donut drive going. If you want some, drop me a line. tiffani2k3 at gmail dot com. Gotta hide from those spammers.

BUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!!!!

So, Brandon and I were coming out of the engineering building tonight around 830pm or so to walk over to Five Guys for dinner. I felt like neither cooking nor even walking back to Slowe, so I made him come along. Just as we exited the parking lot behind the engineering building adjacent to Georgia Avenue, somebody says rather quietly "Tiffani?" I turned around, and ohmigosh!! It was EBONY!! My long, lost buddy from many days and a year ago!! I had talked to her on the phone over Christmas break and a few times during this semester, but strangely, I hadn't seen her at all. I saw all of our buddies..Nate, David, Tony (mmmhmmm), but not Ebony! Then tonight, we broke out in a scream on Georgia Avenue. It was so good to see her again. So, now, me, Kim, and Ebony are most definitely going to go out to lunch somewhere.

I missed both of them. They're two of my true buddies on campus. I really do feel like if I needed something, like right away, I could call either one of them. Thanks, y'all. :)

...And now...it's off to bed. Jana says I should. See?!

**ite*n0*: dude, i gotta go to sleep

**ite*n0*: and you should too

DukeBlueMonkey: lol yeah...i'm writing tho

**iteo*0*: when you fall out tomorrow, don't say nothing to me

**iteo*0* is away at 3:21:01 AM.

Yeah, I'm going..I'm going.

2005-01-16T17:06:00.000-05:00

Weak. Work.

Yeah, I'm thinking I got sick from someone in back of me on the metro a couple of days ago that basically sneezed onto the back of my head. Gross, eh? But, yesterday, I spent most of the day incapacitated and for the first few hours of today. At one point, however, I couldn't take it anymore--the hot flashes, the cold flashes, and the sneezing fits--so I got up and made a sandwich and turned on the television. The History Channel is pretty interesting during the weekends.

Most of the time, there is nothing on television during the weekends. But, right now I have to go find something more substantial to eat. I'm thinking I'll clean my room, wash dishes and fix a huge dinner for myself to recover my strength. Gahhh, I still have work to do.

::Goes to get dressed::

2005-01-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

"Things We Do for Love" - Horace Brown

So, yeah. I rediscovered Horace Brown sometime ago and tonight I downloaded more of his tracks. I swear, if I could travel back to 1994 and start the second half of the 90s off correctly, I would. I mean, yes, I was only nine, but I felt music. I could appreciate the beats and at that point, that's all anybody really needed. I felt all laid back in Fayetteville, like that was the only place I'd ever need to be. As much shit as I talk about North Carolina, I love it. It was where I seriously discovered music. Foxy 99.1FM played all of that stuff, Bad Boy, Motown, yeah, even Horace Brown. Crucial Conflict had a song out that was one of my favorite songs because it was so crazy sounding.

I remember everytime it came on I'd hop into the front and turn the volume up and then promptly sit back down and bob my head. At that point I had so much music in my veins that I was a walking lyric. I swore I was going to be a DJ, a musician, a producer, a singer, something. I even took it so far as to join the band in middle school.

Music, interestingly, gave me confidence. When I stopped listening to all my favorite songs, I changed. My temperament got really bad (I cursed all the time and I was exceptionally rude and dismissive) and I just didn't seem to have much of an oomph about myself anymore. Suddenly, it wasn't all about the benjamins anymore. It started being about trying to fit in. I guess that's why I was so much more...interesting than all the other kids for my age; music is never about fitting in. It's about being confident in what you have and what you can say and do. Music is never about fitting in.

2004-12-30T03:04:00.000-05:00

Push this, take dat.

John Legend's album came out today and I got lifted. Newest favorite track by Mr. Legend? "She Don't Have to Know." It's true, she doesn't. ;)

And oh yeah, I have to be a damn electrical engineer to fix my laptop. Ohhh the tangled webs we weave and then accidentally fall into. Damn.

But, like Sir Winston Churchill said..."Never, never, never give up." Folks, I won't. I want it that badly. Pax.

2004-12-27T01:25:00.000-05:00

Look, ma! I fixed it! & Dammit, you look like a piece of meat.

Last night, after being horribly bored out of my mind, I did what I always do when I'm bored--take things apart to figure out how and why they work like they do. The first time I did this, my Nintendo was the victim and Duck Hunt was no more... But, last night, something absolutely excellent happened. I saw how to fix my burnt-out laptop screen. I saw the bulb. Yes, dammit, yes!

Damn near every laptop screen that is bright as hell (that's why LCD's are gorgeous) is lit by what's called a cold cathode fluorescent lamp (CCFL for us engineers out there). To make a very long story excruciatingly short, I'm going to the bank tomorrow to put money in my checking account so I can order the CCFL online and have it here by Thursday. The next entry on this thing must just come from my laptop that will be brought from the dead after almost 1.25 years of being out of commission! My lovely LCD will back in business, and I believe it will be bright as hell. YES!

So, what can you say I got for Christmas this year? Besides a nice bit of cash, a sweater or two from the Gap, and hugs and kisses from my folks, you can say I got two very important qualities that will serve me better than any iPod or high-powered cell phone--I got perseverance and confidence. Those two things helped me put my laptop back together. Thanks, God. ;)

2004-12-23T22:04:00.000-05:00

If you want it, you can have it. Come and get it...and I'll be waiting. -Soul for Real.

Whatever happened to these folks?! Soul for Real was great to jam to back in middle school. Where are they now? Who knows, and I suspect I'm way too lazy to go research. Actually, I'm disgruntled. I got my grades back and haha, I suspect I still have some cleaning up to do on the procrastination front. Also, I really need to get it together with building the email server.

I suspect a grade of mine has been affected because my professor never got my last assigment and thus, had to give me a course grade of B. So much for schmoozing in the land of perfect grades. ::Chokes off Dasani::

2004-12-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

We're just Ordinary People.

Yeah, so I downloaded this new John Legend song after hearing it walking down the hallway one day here in Slowe. It's such a nice song. I think I just like the guy's voice though.

2004-11-21T02:18:00.000-05:00

Goldman Sachs Do Bless Me...Hold my hand...Van Hunt.

The week has been hectic. All I do is study now, but that's something small in the much larger picture that I'm assembling to call "My Life." Folks, if studying means I have to skip parties and miss outtings to the mall, then so be it. Things are that serious now. I was slow enough as a freshman to do all that partying and mall-hopping last year...with disastrous results. lol. Now, I'm so focused that things really aren't falling apart anymore. Things are in their best possible states.

After reading through most of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, I've begun drawing out my own personal mission statement to really keep me on track to achieving all the stuff that I want to achieve. This isn't some far-fetched "OHhhh, you gotta do this stuff or you're gonna die" list, but it's real serious. After following Goldman Sachs all these years, I realized why they're so wonderously successful. They have principles, and these principles really decide what goes on in this enterprise.

Again, I have my own principles. They are based tightly on these ideas: fairness, integrity, honesty, dignity, service, quality, excellence, potential, growth, patience, nurturance, and encouragement. I work in small intervals everyday to come up with definitions for all of these. Here's what I have so far:

Fairness: I will strive to truly treat others as I'd like to be treated: with respect, patience, and honesty. I will agree to be equitable and actually listen to people. You cannot be impartial and fair if you don't listen to and make efforts to understand other people.

Excellence: For me, to be good is simply and quite inarguably, not good enough. You must always expect the best from yourself, no matter what others around you are thinking, saying, or doing. Your idea of excellence, being at your best in all endeavours, cannot be placed against others' actions, opinions, beliefs, or misgivings and mediocrity. If this means you hvae to be excellent by yourself, then so be it. However, when you have found the opportunity, never skip the chance to promote excellence and achievement in others. Sometimes, that is the only way!

Quality: I will seek to produce only the best. I will, without fail, personally emphasize quality over quantity in all pursuits. It is better to have a strong arm in one area with superior results, rather than a weak hand in all pots with crappy results. On that note, I will work to maintain the physical and mental capacity to create and maintain quality and performance. Also, if you say you're going to do something, overdo it.

Folks, I've actually been starting to do things by the other definitions I've scratched out on a tree-like drawing that is now taped on my wall. It's in plain-sight as soon as I get out of the bed, so I can't miss it, and thus, can't ignore it. But, gahhh...I have some other maths to take care of. Plus, Thanksgiving packing. See you all later! Look for new pics on Thefacebook.

2004-11-01T22:55:00.000-05:00

The perfect blend--Apples and coffee.

So, tonight while playing around and essentially wasting time at the IMA, I came across Java in the G5. In all of my years of using MS Windows (GAH!), I had forgotten the little intricacies of the Apple Mac OS systems. Mac OS X has Java built-in to make a long story excruciatingly short.

Now, I am poised to break the world apart using Java. This type of innovation in my world only happens once in a blue moon. I'm so elated. I have made the choice to, once I establish a serious cash flow, buy a Mac. Thinkpads are of only secondary interest to me now. I'm going back to the computers that started it all for me; Macs.

2004-10-27T23:28:00.000-04:00

Howard University Entrepreneur's Society

So, yes, folks. I became an official member tonight with the submittal of the $10 payment of dues. I'm going to go pick up my t-shirt in the morning. I actually wasn't going to go because I was thinking "Ohhh I really need to study" but I'm very glad I did go. I met some new people, made some new connections, and talked. Damn. More on this later, though, gotta catch up with the study time I had to give up!